The Holiday Season Degrades Into Smudge

When I was a kid I liked Christmas. I think it started going down hill when I was 11. When I was 11, I had Type I Diabetes although I had not been diagnosed yet. It would be diagnosed in January.

I didn't enjoy that Christmas. My parents always overspent on us kids so the gifts were quite nice, but the memory that always haunts me is having to get up every hour to go to the bathroom. I'd try to time it so that my mom and dad had time to secretly arrange all the gifts without me "accidentally" seeing them while sneaking in to the rest room to relieve my strained bladder.

Then, a few days before Christmas 9 years ago, my ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce.

I think she was mad at me because I never put Christmas lights on the house. "It's too much trouble", I would tell her, "and I don't want to end up in the hospital after I fall." I have little dexterity and heights make me extremely nervous.

Ironically, her first Christmas with her new husband was spent paying hospital bills after he fell off the roof and broke his arm. I normally don't get joy from someone else's pain. But that made me smile.

Anyway, now Christmas time is just a time to avoid disappointing anyone. I don't expect any gifts. I'd feel better if no one bought me any. I always buy myself something. This year I bought myself a Blu-Ray player. I can hardly wait to unwrap it!