Jerry Jones’s House of Cards

I used to listen to 105.3 FM religiously. I enjoyed the morning show with The Jagger Mafia and I enjoyed the afternoon show with Russ Martin. A while back. Well, a long while back, they changed formats. They went from Live 105.3 to 105.3 The Fan (a sports channel).

I can’t say I was all that thrilled about the switch to sports being that I’m not a sports fan. I lack the competitive gene, but I’ve been listening to the The Jagger Show since it was on 102.1 The Edge 10 or so years ago so I figured I’d keep listening in the mornings.

Recently they’ve started this thing where they interview Jerry Jones on Tuesday and Wade Phillips on Wednesday. For those of you not “in the know” Wade is the coach of The Dallas Cowboys and Jerry is the owner.

Never in my life have I heard on the radio two more boring people.

On Tuesday mornings I’m listening to Jerry with all of his “uhhhhhhhhhhhhh’s” and I’m thinking, if the owner and boss is this motivational, no wonder they can’t win. The man has no business speaking in public. His mastery of the English language is embarrassing. By the time he gets a point across, you either want to slap him or shove a rag down his throat. It’s intolerable. Hopefully, he doesn’t talk to the players.

Then, on Wednesday mornings, just when you thought things couldn’t degrade any more, they interview Wade Phillips. This man is a whiner. Although not much into competitive team sports, I always assumed coaches to be motivational type guys. Wade’s only motivation is in motivating you to scratch your ears out as fast as possible. All the wining and squirming is intolerable. After Tony throws the 5th interception in a game, Wade probably gets in his face and whines, “Tonnnnyyyyy, maybe if you were to try and release the ball a little sooner. Is everything alright at home? I know it’s kind of hard on you with the bad press and everything. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, you just come see me. Or, if I’m not available, go talk to your conversationally challenged owner, Mr. Jones”.

To be fair, I can only tolerate about 30 seconds of either one of them. Maybe they improve with time. If you don’t believe me and you live in the area, turn to 105.3 on Tuesday at 8:30 AM and Wednesday at 8:30 AM. At least I think it’s 8:30. It’ll make you feel sorry for Tony. How do you put up with all that motivational speaking?

Here is a video of Wade. Listen to as much as you can tolerate. Try to picture him trying to motivate you on a football team. Or whatever it is you need motivation doing…

If you tolerated that okay, then try Jerry Jones here. At least watch until he says, “uhhhhh” for the 10th time. It should take less than 30 seconds. And I think he’s reading off a teleprompter. The man makes me physically ill.