Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Failure to Communicate

I'm not going to make it to 100 posts this year.  Maybe I'll do better in 2012.

For Christmas, my girlfriend bought two copies of Star Wars The Old Republic and it has taken up much of my spare time.  Thus, the lack of blogging.  My youngest daughter saw us playing it and was awe inspired and said she wanted a copy too.  So, now, we three have spent our vacation time sitting around the fireplace with laptops tucked snugly on our laps fighting the misguided Separatists or the evil Imperialists.  It's been a blast.  There's nothing quite like getting your first "real" light saber at level 10.  I walk on the dark side while they sleep.

Tomorrow, we're driving to New Orleans and will spend New Year's there.  We'll be coming home on the 2nd,  I've never been to New Orleans before.  I'm kind of looking forward to it.

I had an epiphany regarding Ron Paul and the Libertarian Party.  I might have to share it with you after I've worked out the details.  It's an epiphany that has lead me to believe that I might need to become a Democrat.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


I believe in Astrology.  I've discovered through scientific methodology that by talking to people, I can easily and correctly predict their astrological signs 8.3333% of the time.

That was just a setup for this rather dull, but interesting video.

Monday, December 19, 2011

American Football News

It's often strange how the government comes up with its "punishments" for crimes.

This weekend's football escapades brought this to the forefront of my thoughts. Chicago Bears wide receiver Sam Hurd was fired (err, cut from the roster) for allegedly purchasing drugs for distribution. Sources say 1,000 pounds of Marijuana along with some cocaine.

Throw your feelings about drugs out the window for a second. I know some people hate drugs for one reason or another and that's okay. But, according to the allegations all he did was attempt to purchase a large quantity of Marijuana and cocaine. He wasn't accused of robbing anyone. He wasn't accused of shooting anyone. He wasn't even accused of being mean to anyone.

If he's found guilty, he'll spend a minimum of 10 years in prison. A minimum. I looked it up here.  I don't really feel like doing too much verification, but it seems right.  I went here too, but it was like a legal rabbit hole from hell.

Now, let's go back a few years to Michael Vick.  He confessed to being a player in dog fighting activities.  This is, at a minimum, cruel to animals.  He may not have been hurting people, but he was hurting domestic animals.  Something capable of feeling pain was being hurt for his entertainment.  How much time did he spend?  A little less than 2 years.

If my understanding is correct, not hurting someone, but purchasing something the government says you can't purchase (10+ years).  Being cruel to animals (up to 24 months).  Go figure.

In unrelated news, Romo said something about not trying so hard to correct for his teammate's mistakes.  They need to send that boy to leadership training.  And send me to reporting school because I didn't write down what he said.  It was funny though.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The English Language

One of my lovely children the other day was complaining about the English language.  I think she may have asked how I was feeling and I said, "With my hands."  Then she said, "I hate the English language!"

It was probably more in depth than that, but my mind is drawing a blank at the moment.  Is that like getting a blank from the well after throwing the water bucket down or trying to etch what you are thinking on a piece of paper and coming up with nothing?  Which analogy is it?

If the English language were to change to have definite pronunciations and meanings for all the words, we'd lose an entire industry of comedy.

I was watching an Eddy Murphy movie in Germany once.  It was one that I had already watched in the USA so I kind of knew the dialogue and the funny parts.  My favorite part in the English version is when he's walking up to the big doors of the house, looks at his wife and says, "Look at those knockers."  Watching it in German, in Germany, with a bunch of Germans and no one even snickered (except me).

My favorite Three Stooges skit is when they are about to be executed, but decide they have to eat something first so they can digest (die just) right.

What lead down this path of fun is after 40 some odd years, I've just discovered that I've been pronouncing groin wrong all my life.  I just recently thought I pulled my groin, but have now decided it's a nasty bursitis in my hip.

I've been telling everyone I've met that I pulled my groin.  Often this happens after they look at me questioningly during one of my shuffling episodes.  After I tell them I've pulled my groin, they laugh at me.  "What's so funny?" I query, "My groin really hurts!"

Then, they have to tell me, "It's pronounced gro een, not gro in."  Then I have to argue, but it gets nowhere because people come out of the woodwork to laugh at me.  I still can't pronounce it right.  I can't pronounce it left either.  Because it's still there.

Today, I finally went to dictionary.com to hear the correct pronunciation.  As you all know everything you learn on the Internet is gospel.  I'm still recovering from the truth.  You should hear me say bursitis.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Cynical News Fun

I haven't blogged in weeks and no one has complained!  I'm mortified.  I'm never going to make it to 100 by the end of the year.  My topics are becoming consistently more narrow minded and cynical.  Not a good way to end the year.

When I firsted start writing this feeble blog, I'd get bent out of shape around the "political" season which seems to be starting sooner and sooner.  It gets to the point that it's so irritating I don't even like thinking about it, much less writing about it.

In case you haven't been paying attention, I don't really care much for American politics.  It's like watching a TV evangelist pay for infomercials trying to convince you how honest he is.  There's no such thing.  It's a waste of time and money.

But, the only thing worse than a bunch of politicians blowing their horns and lying about their indiscretions is the news outlets and America's gullibility.  Admittedly, sometimes the news is true or maybe there is a hint of truth, but more often than not, it's not the whole truth and it's always spun in a way to make the most cash and/or do the most damage.

So why do we believe them all the time?  You know they make things as dramatic as humanly possible for higher ratings.  Think about it.

If I own a television network and I don't want someone to be elected into public office all I have to do is go find someone, pay them some money, and have them say something derogatory about the candidate.  It doesn't matter how stupid it is.  It doesn't matter how true it is.  Just make something up.  The more derogatory and exciting the better!  Americans trust the news and they love drama.

I'm kind of old fashioned.  I trust my instincts.  I don't believe anything the news says about Herman Cain.  I don't care much except it irks me that people believe it.  I was out at a bar and this girl was telling me that he raped four women.  Really?  Where did you hear that?  Have you met Herman Cain personally?  Why are we so quick to judge?  I'd never believe that about anyone until I was able to sit at a bar with them long enough to get them nice and inebriated.  Then, the truth would emerge.

I don't trust anything the news says about anyone.  The reason I didn't like Herman Cain was because he was too religious.  I won't vote for anyone that mentions the need for more faith, religion or God in our lives.  If you think God's going to fix our problems then I won't be voting for you.  Moron.

You are correct, I'm not voting for Newt Gingrich either.  Nobody is trying to remove "the Creator" from your life Mr. Gingrich, but we don't need the government mandating our relationship or lack of relationship with Him either.  Let them tell you who to believe in and next thing you know they'll be telling you who to marry.  'Doh!  Well, I guess we're a little late for that.