Cruising for the Hardwood Lottery!

I'm going to write this like a proof.  Just because I can.  As I wrote, it became less like a proof and more like a nerdy boneheaded thing to do, but I was too lazy to fix it.  And I couldn't figure out how to make it go by letters instead of numbers.  If A is B and B is C then A is C you see?

1. As my avid fan knows, I enjoy cruises.  They are a carefree relaxing journey where you are stuck on a ship (a rather large ship) with the same people for a week.  
2. As anyone with a half-tuned ear to the news knows, there was recently a cruise ship disaster off the coast of Italy.
3. According to my last post, I really really want hardwood floors in my house (so I can skate).
4. Carnival recently announced they are giving $15,000 to each "uninjured" passenger on the cruise ship that sunk.
5. All of my sailings have been with Carnival.

Given all 5 of these points, it has come to my attention that if I take enough cruises I'm bound to eventually be on one where the Captain goes nuts, sails too close to shore and sinks the ship.  Then, I'll get a check for $15,000 which will almost pay for my hardwood flooring project (does the government charge income tax on near miss payouts?).

                                      ==



Therefore, it is time for me to start booking cruises.  It's like a $400 lottery ticket and even if I don't win the lottery, I still get a vacation out of it.

I think I'll book my first one in April.  I wonder if the odds of winning go up for Mediterranean cruises?   I would do Alaskan ones, but I'm not sure $15k would be worth the risk of hypothermia even if I did pack my 7 mil wetsuit.  Plus the cost of purchasing a lottery ticket would increase significantly.  I'll probably have to stick with my $400 lottery tickets and sail the Caribbean. 

I wonder if I could pay off the Captain of my next cruise ship.  "Could you graze that rock over there and give me an hour to change into my wetsuit?  Maybe for $100?"  Do you think that would negatively impact my payoff?