Monday, April 30, 2012

Feeling My Age

As my cornucopia of literate guests know, I had an appointment with my hip doctor last week. Durango was curious to know if I was going to have hip replacement surgery and if this would make me a more suitable cruiser. He's not very nice.

Last Friday my dentist informed me that my teeth were falling out.

Pretty soon I'll be complaining about my replacement hip slipping and my dentures falling out. That'll be some fun blogging.

I really don't know if I can take much more good news. Of course, at the age of 34 I had my midlife crisis. I've always said I'm going to have as much fun as I can have before 60. I guess in the grand scheme of things it's about time for some stuff to start falling off.

I'm, of course, exaggerating. I just need to have a specialist look at my gums. Apparently my periodontal disease has become suddenly worse. I'm getting a second opinion today at 11. I've had the surgery twice before and it's not a fun experience.

The hip is liable to be a relatively simple procedure. It's just calcification around the Labrum. I'm not allowed to run until it's fixed. But, I can push my little walker around with the groovy tennis balls real good. I'm going in for an MRI tomorrow to get the doctor more information on how he can get it fixed. I don't think replacement will be necessary.

In other aging news my oldest daughter is graduating high school in a month. She mentioned possibly moving in with a friend of hers. I worry that I should alert the people in charge of charting world destruction because if they both live together the world will get very confused about which girl it's supposed to revolve around and their proximity may create some kind of vortex which, left untreated, could lead to a catastrophic event.

4 comments:

  1. DurangoApril 30, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    I thought I was being quite nice by suggesting something positive about you getting a new hip. A cane or a walker will also help you be more in tune with your fellow cruisers. You might wanna think about maybe stopping coloring your hair and let it go gray. This will also help you fit in better with your cruisers.

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  2. GarApril 30, 2012 at 9:54 PM

    Your cruelty knows no bounds. I hadn't thought about stopping with the coloring. hmm. Your follicle advice also apparently knows no bounds.

    Tomorrow I am supposed to get my MRI done. Today, my hip made significant improvement. I'm thinking it's coincidental. Or perhaps it just take 10 months for an irritated bursa to heal.

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  3. DurangoMay 1, 2012 at 7:19 PM

    Maybe you should take up something like yoga to restore limberness to your limbs.

    You really are erroneous when you say my cruelty knows no bounds. There is definitely a cruelty boundary past which I will not pass.

    As for my follicle advice. Have I not steered you correctly in this area before? I think letting your follicles go their natural gray would add a very distinguished look to your already distinguished look. And definitely be an improvement over that artificial color you've got going on now.

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  4. GarMay 2, 2012 at 2:49 PM

    It's possible I injured my hip while doing yoga.

    And how do you know my hair isn't already gray? It's been over 10 years since you've seen a non photo shopped version :)

    You make many strange assumptions with your onslaught of disparaging comments.

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