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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Avatar: A Review in Preview

image I think everyone and their dog has seen this movie twice.

I saw it for the first time tonight. I saw it at the IMAX theater in Colleyville at the Colleyville Cinema + Grille. The folks there were really friendly. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve been to a theater where the staff seemed to give a damn. That’s my ad for the Colleyville Cinema + Grill…”they give a damn”. I should go into marketing.

I like the little floating jellyfish things the best. The fact that he swatted them like flies at first. He didn’t realize that were cute little spirits sent to color him special.

The movie was, in a nutshell, about the evil human military with only a few good nuts left against the crazy wacky indigenous blue monkeys and the insane crazy scientists out to save them. Maybe that was too many nuts in one plot.

But, instead of trying to be textbook about it, let me tell you what I really thought. The graphics were amazing from the very start. I didn’t like the military guys. I suspect that it was intended to be that way so I followed along.

Did I mention I really like the floating jellyfish spirit things?

The horses with 6 legs reminded me of something out of The Nutcracker or something. They almost seemed out of place even in the fantastical setting.

I liked that they were one with nature. I mean it was a fantasy. I’m thinking about growing a long braided pony tail to see if I can use it to commune with my sick tree out front. Really.

image I liked that they had fangs and growled. The howling I can live without. It just seemed goofy. Growling good, howling bad.

But my most favorite part of the movie? The clothes (or lack of). I’d be willing toimage try my hand at spending more time outdoors if we could all be skinny, athletic and dress like that. It would be hell on the adult entertainment industry, but I don’t think it would matter. We’d quickly forget about it (the industry that is).


I almost forgot. I promised my children that I'd tell you about the two little boys wearing the native American head dresses with the little orange feather. They each had a little orange feather. One of the little boy's feathers dropped out of his paper head wrap thing. I went down stairs and picked it up and returned it to him so he wouldn't miss it. My kids thought that was awfully nice of me. I was just trying to improve my karma.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

They Infuriate Me

The only reason I can come up with that these people continue to broadcast these mass emails is because gullible people respond. Please, please, please stop responding. My junk email filters are pretty good and most of the time this stuff gets filtered right into the waste basket. Unfortunately, good stuff also sometimes gets thrown away. So in the interest of good emails everywhere that accidentally get thrown into the junk mail bin, please, please, please quit responding to crap like this:
Dear Partner,

This is my third time of sending you an e-mail without any reply, I told
youabout a deal on an investment account total 10.5million USD of late
Mr. Alfred who shares the same last name with you.

My proposal to you is that since I have exclusive access to his file, you
willbe made the beneficiary of these funds. On verification, which will be
the details I make available to Bank holding funds, my company through our
lawyerwill instruct the bank to make payments to you. You do not have to
have known him. I know this sounds a bit heavy and complex but believe and
trust me as itis achievable. For your assistance, I propose we split the
funds in half andshare it equally. This practice is not unusual in the
banking sector here inChina. The other option is that the funds will
revert back to the state, whereit may be shared by State officials.

Nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come
easyor on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my
privateinvestment clients, We should act swiftly on this if you are in
agreement andplease get back to me immediately, I am contacting you
independently and no oneis informed of this communication.

Please do keep this confidential,I await your prompt response.

Best Regards,

Chui Lee



Thanks,
Gar

PS: I'm easily infuriated lately. Just ask Durango.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Cadillac Sky

image I listen to Pandora about 4 hours per day at work.  I’m such a big fan of Pandora that I pay my yearly subscription fee.

The other day, a song came on by Cadillac Sky which was titled, “Wish I Could Say I Was Drinking”.  It made such an impression that I decided to buy the album.

 

Turns out they are going to be at the Bass Performance Hall in Fort Worth on March 3rd.  I’m thinking I’ll have to buy a ticket.  It’s not much fun to attend concerts alone, but it’s also difficult to find folks that enjoy the music as much as I do.  There is, of course, also the trip to the Flying Saucer pre-concert.  It’s conveniently located across the street from the Hall.image

So, who’s with me?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dental Hygienist Hammering Hamster Mom

If you haven’t heard this yet, you can read it here.image   I’ll try and summarize for the people not wanting to read it from CBS…

Let’s call this little guy on the left Herman.  He’s the pet hamster of a young boy.

This woman from Georgia was disappointed in her 12 year old son’s grades at school so she forced him to smash Herman’s little head with a hammer. 

It kind of reminds me of that little poem.  How did it go?

there was a bird,

with a yellow bill,

sitting on,

my window sill,

I lured him in,

with a piece of bread,

and then I crushed,

his little head

But that’s simply a funny tangent.  It just sprang to mind uninvited so I shared it -- uninvited.image

Lynn Geter is the woman’s name.  I think CBS probably had to look around a bit to find the most wicked picture of her they could find.  She looks like a real winner.

She was arrested on a number of charges after her son told his teacher what happened.  I wonder if he told his teacher or he bragged to his teacher.  The world may never know and I’m not sure that it matters.

Now I like putting myself in people’s shoes before I pass judgment.  So, now I’m Lynn and I’m trying to get my 12 year old kid to do their homework and they aren’t doing it.  They aren’t making good grades in school because they refuse to study.  I’ve tried for months to make my kid do better in school, but they refuse to do what I’ve asked them to do.  I’m at the end of my rope and I finally say, “Ok boy, go get the hammer.”  Cuz, by golly, if I can’t get you to crack open a book and learn something, I bet I can force you to smash in Herman’s little head with a hammer.

Ok, dream sequence over.  It’s not working for me.  I can’t come up with any justification at all.  This mom and her son have serious issues.

As I get down to the bottom of the article I read that Lynn is a dental hygienist.  I don’t know about you, but I go see my hygienist every 4 months and there is a large amount of trust that goes on there.  They are digging at my gums with sharp instruments!  I have an appointment with my hygienist this Friday.  Maybe I should ask him how he feels about homework and hamsters.  I’ll be real nice and make sure and open nice and wide when told to do so. 

Monday, January 25, 2010

Whatever

I have an acquaintance that has been nagging me for quite some time. It's gotten to the point that it is no longer funny.

I have reached into my bag of tricks and discovered one of my favorite angry songs. This one is for you:

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Public Service Announcement about Viruses

Computer Viruses to be exact. Let's discuss the difference between Computer Viruses and the Flu.

You can try and prevent the flu through doing things like washing your hands, staying away from public areas, and not putting things near your face that haven't been disinfected. You kind of have to work to "not get sick".

Computer Viruses are named badly. They aren't like viruses at all except they make your computer sick. With Computer Viruses you almost have to work "to get sick". Computer Viruses would be more appropriately named Computer Hangovers and here's why:

They are caused by you trying to install one piece of free software too many. My daughter gets computer hangovers all the time because she likes trying to watch "free" movies before they are released. You go do an Internet search for "watch avatar 3d for free" and you'll get lots of offers. 9 out of 10 of them probably have a hangover attached. The other 1 just installs spyware which is very similar just not quite as malicious.

Of course, companies like Symantec and McAfee don't want you knowing this because their business model exists based on public fear. I've never used anti-virus software and I've never had a computer virus. You just have to follow one simple rule: if you don't trust it 100%, don't download it, don't run it, don't open it, and definitely don't install it.

Windows Vista and Windows 7 have vastly approved upon this rule. Everytime something tries to change your system Vista will open up a dialog asking you if you it's okay. You can go one step further and make all "user" accounts unable to say it's okay without a password. This way if you have children who are trying to get free movies, when the virus tries to install itself, they'll get the "is it okay" dialog and it'll ask for a password which you, as the parent, have intelligently not shared.

Normally, once you are infected by spyware or a virus, it's not worth the time and trouble to fix it. You'll be 50/50 at best and most of the software is good enough that the act of removing it will debilitate your computer. You'll end up spending 8 hours trying to remove it, 4 hours making sure it's completely gone and the next 2 hours crying about wasting 12 hours.

I'm not good at removing viruses. If your computer has become debilitated from a nasty hangover, you can sometimes revert to "the last known good configuration" and this will sometimes get you back up and running. If it doesn't, you will probably have to find your installation CD/DVD (which most people I've found have no idea that such a thing exists) and reinstall. If you realize that Win XP was installed with a disc and you have access to it, you should follow these instructions...

To get to the "last known good configuration" screen, just start hitting F8 as soon as you power your computer on. It actually is a boot menu just after the BIOS screen flashes by, but I find it's safer just to tell people to start tapping the F8 key as soon as they turn on their computer. You should get to a boot menu that looks something like this:

Friday, January 22, 2010

Reversing Ages

As my eldest daughter quickly approaches the driving age of 16, I've decided that perhaps Texas should reverse the drinking age and driving ages. The current drinking age is 21.

I firmly believe it would be better if the drinking age were 16 and the driving age were 21. That would give you plenty of time to learn to handle your alcohol before getting behind the wheel of a 2 ton motorized death trap.

It would also be cheaper for the parental units. A bottle of beer ($2), a new car ($20,000), a used car ($2000). And what about all you youngsters out there? Wouldn't you rather drink than drive? I know I would.