Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Terrifying Sheeple

Yesterday I had to take my youngest spawn to have her braces removed. 

herd-of-sheepWhile sitting in a chair that I refer to as the auditorium of shame the nurses working with the kids, who were neatly spaced out in a semi-circle I call the theater of shame, started talking about gas prices.

The first sheeple said, “Gas is too expensive and there is no reason for it.  They should limit the profits of  these big gas companies.”  I couldn’t believe she said big a$$ in front of the children.

The second sheeple replied eagerly, “Yeah, government should just regulate gas and oil prices.”

It struck fear into my cold, cold heart.  When did people start thinking that the government can take tare of them?  If things are too expensive the government can take care of it.  If my kid tries to buy alcohol the government can take care of it.  If I don’t want to hear cussing on the radio, the government can take care of it.  If my butt itches, the government can take care of it.

I’d go so far as to say if you consider yourself a Republican or a Democrat, you are sheeple.  I’m going to make a new political party called the Sheepless Party.  It’s going to be a group of people who believe that they can take care of themselves with minimum government assistance.  It’ll be a less radical Libertarian party. 

Government regulate gas prices?  Give me a break.  Government regulate radio?  Why? 

Well, that was a tangent.  What I originally wanted to say was that my daughter said that if you are sheeple and you have a heart attack then they’ll have to give you SheePR, and if you get tired then you’ll be Sheepy.  My new political party will never be Sheepy because they’ll be Sheepless.


  1. Very witty Gar...

    Sign me up.

  2. I suggested to our mutual friend the Whited Sepulchre we just let the price of gas go where it will. $10 a gallon gas will get gas-guzzling pickups and SUVs off the road faster than any act of congress. Sadly, his readership did not agree with my free-market approach.

  3. I had to quit reading Mr. Sepulchre too much. It was making me cranky. I still glance over there. I just try not to think about it.
    The government should start regulating such fierce opposition to the powers that be.

    I remember last time gas prices went skyward, it was actually pretty cool. Scientists started really researching alternatives. It's bad to be too reliant on anything. It's why we have independence.