First, here's Rachel. She's 19 and has a 5 month old little boy. Young women these days.
As soon as Rachel saw me she threw herself at me.
As things progressed, I agreed to a dance.
I grudgingly allowed her to give me a kiss. On the cheek.
Then things got ugly. First, I agreed that she could take me for a ride. She started getting a little too friendly so I told her I had a girlfriend. Her adoration quickly became anger and she tried to drown me.
Failing at the drowning fiasco, she came up behind me while I was floating innocently on a boogie board and tried to forcefully ram me headfirst into the nearest pier.
I survived, but was left troubled by the whole ordeal. Please send sympathy donations to my Paypal account.