Thursday, May 17, 2012

Nurses and Doctors and X-Rays, Oh My!

An odd thing happened today.

It started Wednesday.

Actually, it started several weeks ago, but if you've been following along, you'll know this.

My ongoing hip drama has taken a wincing turn to the left.

Yesterday, that day being Wednesday, also known as the day after Tuesday. I should probably pause here and mention that I've recently hired an attorney to do my will. I've been reading legal documents for a few days now so some of this may sound kind of legal (like that first sentence). I don't know why I tend to mimic my current reading assignment. I'm like a mockingbird.

Yesterday, I decided to be a squeaky wheel and try to determine why no one had called me concerning my imminent Labral Repair and Osteoplasty.

Doctor Scheinberg's "assistant" answered my original squeak and exclaimed, "We haven't received any referral concerning His Excellency's, The Great and Powerful Gar's imminent hip repair." To protect the innocent, we'll call this assistant Wanda. I picture Wanda as a brunette with long hair and even longer legs.

Anyway, Doctor Evanich's "assistant" answered  the second squeak and exclaimed, "They haven't received it yet because we haven't sent it yet. The transcriber has been on vacation." What I heard was, "We kind of forgot about it and now I'm going to describe something that makes no sense so you'll forgive me and my lovely blonde curls." We'll call this assistant Becky. I've met Becky. I think she's blonde.

My last appointment with Doctor Evanich involved Becky calling Wanda to setup my appointment. I was standing there and remember Becky telling me that Wanda couldn't setup an appointment until Doctor Scheinberg reviewed my files and considered me a candidate for the procedure. Thus, the reasoning for my two weeks of patiently waiting for everything to get mailed to Doctor Scheinberg.

This morning, or the day after I made my squeaks, Wanda called me! She said, "We've received your files and I'd like to setup your appointment. The first one I have available is June 11 at 8:30 AM."

"Sounds good to me," I say. I figure the first appointment will just be a fifty dollar consultation so I can ask the doctor if we can delay the surgery until late autumn.

She then gives me instructions on their website and how to fill out the forms and get them sent to the correct place, etc.

Then she says, "Could you make sure and bring all your radiology discs including the X-Ray."

It gave me chills. I told her I didn't have the X-Rays, that Becky wouldn't give them up. Wanda said they'd make more.

If you don't understand, you'll have to go back here and read a bit. It's short. The post is short. Jeez. I mean the blog is not very wordy.

Now I'm not worried about the surgery at all. I'm worried about the X-Ray! And what did Wanda and Becky discuss which made my X-Ray so important? I feel like a cheap porn star.

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