Friday, December 20, 2013

Shades of Gay

I couldn't help but be roped into the Phil debacle.

But instead of rehashing what has already been said, I thought I'd take a different approach.

From the time I was 0 until the time I was 18, I was coerced into going to church and studying the bible 3 times a week. There were a couple of times in the last 2 or 3 of those 18 years that I met some pretty little woman who made me go to church with her. It was these times that I truly tried to act like I believed in the bible. A pretty face goes a long way! I have enough knowledge to debate with the best of them.

If there is one thing I learned in those 18 years, it's that you can not debate or have a discussion with anyone who bases their argument on faith. If they have faith, then you should just slowly back away. Faith is like saying, "I'm not as stubborn as a mule, I'm as stubborn as a whole caravan of mules equipped with 20 pound spiked shoes on each hoof." Back away slowly and find someone capable of having a meaningful discussion. You'll be glad you did.

I believe everyone is a shade of gay. The people who are scared to admit it or fall back on the bible argument as a crutch are usually a darker shade of gay on the inside. They work so hard at hiding it, that they appear what the media calls, for some strange reason, anti-gay.

A surprisingly large number of my friends, both past and present, are gay. Some of them I didn't know were gay until the advent of Facebook. Facebook has been a great eye opener in searching through all my old high school/college buddies and going, "Hmm. Now that I see it, I kind of wonder why I didn't notice that before."

I've been picked on, bullied, teased, and ridiculed, almost all of my life. Probably since the time I was 18, I've avoided country bars. There's something odd about country bars and the propensity of the clientele to ridicule everyone not wearing creased starched Wranglers, a cowboy hat and boots. You have to fit the mold or suffer the consequences. I don't fit the mold. I can pretend to be country, but cowboy hats give me a headache, boots make my feet hurt and the whole redneck attitude makes me feel a little stupid.

I've been to a plethora of gay bars. I've never been picked on at a gay bar. No one has ever called me a name or tried to demean me. I've been hit on a couple of times, but that didn't bother me. I can just politely explain my sexual orientation and they usually talk to me a while and then go away. The most obnoxious one told me to "Ditch the bitch and make the switch," which I just thought was funny. I've never felt uncomfortable at a gay bar, but I'm not gay.

The other day I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about homosexuality being a choice. He was kind of coming from a religious point of view so I was a bit wary, but it got me to thinking. How fortunate would you be to actually have a choice?

I'd wager that the majority of humans don't have a choice. They are either homosexual or heterosexual. But, what if, you were wired to have a choice? How open minded is that? You go out to a bar and everyone is attractive to you instead of just the men or just the women. You've increased your odds of having a meaningful relationship by what? 100%?

I, personally, would have an easier time choosing to be a serial killer than I'd be able to choose to be homosexual. The thought of being intimate with another man makes me feel a bit nauseous.

It even bothers me to watch two men kiss. I'd never tell them in person because I know it could be hurtful. I spend way too much time analyzing what I say to avoid hurting someone else. Some people call me shy. I say I'm just careful. Some folks need to be more careful in how they say things on national television.

In today's world, people seem to get bent out of shape too easily. Phil voicing his opinions should not have made anyone upset. Maybe he lacks the political correctness we've come to expect in our self-inflicted over-sensitive society, but so what? He really didn't hurt anyone.

He's probably a darker shade of gay than I am and he's using his faith as a shield (or his fear of some eternity in molten lava or something). Don't badmouth anyone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. We'll all be happier.


  1. It is a mystery to you why you've been picked on, bullied, teased and ridiculed for all of your 10 years? Well, this phenomenon may have something to do with some of the things you blurt out, like in this blogging, saying that you have thought about being intimate with another man to the point it makes you feel a bit nauseous. Why in the world are you thinking about such a thing long enough to make you sick? What is it you are thinking about in these intimate man on man daydreams of yours? Very perplexing. And yeah, I'm picking on, teasing and ridiculing you just a little bit. You make it so easy....

  2. No, it is not a mystery to me. I know exactly why.