Monday, January 30, 2012

Cruising for the Hardwood Lottery!

I'm going to write this like a proof.  Just because I can.  As I wrote, it became less like a proof and more like a nerdy boneheaded thing to do, but I was too lazy to fix it.  And I couldn't figure out how to make it go by letters instead of numbers.  If A is B and B is C then A is C you see?
  1. As my avid fan knows, I enjoy cruises.  They are a carefree relaxing journey where you are stuck on a ship (a rather large ship) with the same people for a week.  
  2. As anyone with a half-tuned ear to the news knows, there was recently a cruise ship disaster off the coast of Italy.
  3. According to my last post, I really really want hardwood floors in my house (so I can skate).
  4. Carnival recently announced they are giving $15,000 to each "uninjured" passenger on the cruise ship that sunk.
  5. All of my sailings have been with Carnival.
Given all 5 of these points, it has come to my attention that if I take enough cruises I'm bound to eventually be on one where the Captain goes nuts, sails too close to shore and sinks the ship.  Then, I'll get a check for $15,000 which will almost pay for my hardwood flooring project (does the government charge income tax on near miss payouts?).


Therefore, it is time for me to start booking cruises.  It's like a $400 lottery ticket and even if I don't win the lottery, I still get a vacation out of it.

I think I'll book my first one in April.  I wonder if the odds of winning go up for Mediterranean cruises?   I would do Alaskan ones, but I'm not sure $15k would be worth the risk of hypothermia even if I did pack my 7 mil wetsuit.  Plus the cost of purchasing a lottery ticket would increase significantly.  I'll probably have to stick with my $400 lottery tickets and sail the Caribbean. 

I wonder if I could pay off the Captain of my next cruise ship.  "Could you graze that rock over there and give me an hour to change into my wetsuit?  Maybe for $100?"  Do you think that would negatively impact my payoff?

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