Sunday, December 6, 2009

Carnival Conquest Cruise: Day 4 -- Jamaica Man

Day 4 found us in Jamaica. Some concerned friends of mine have been questioning my frequent mentioning of alcohol and my lack of photo documentation of my wife on this cruise. It has led them to believe that I took this cruise alone. Well, alone with my alcohol. My photos from Jamaica will hopefully reinforce these crazy rumors:

The people in Jamaica are really nice. I've been told it's a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there. I was offered weed at almost every corner. One guy took me up to his little bungalow bar where I could smoke in private. Once I got up there, I backed out. I didn't really have any intention anyway, but wanted to see how the locals hung out.

You may see my new colorful hat in one or two of the pictures below. In Jamaica you get to haggle for everything. I never thought I'd enjoy that being brought up in America, but it was a lot of fun. The lady told me she wanted $25 for the hat. I said, "No. That hat's not worth more than $5". She said, "Ok, ok, how about $15". I told her I had to consult with my wife. I came back and said, "My wife won't let me spend more than $10 for the hat. Sorry." She said, "Ahh, c'mon, how about $12". I said, "My wife only gave me $10. Take it or leave it." She took it. Obviously.

They drive on the wrong side of the street in Jamaica. I got in a discussion with our driver. I told him he was driving on the wrong side of the street. He said, "No, this is the right side". I said, "No, it's the left side" and he said, "The left side is the right side". I guess you had to be there.

Here is a picture of my lovely wife getting her hair braided in Jamaica.

This was at Margaritaville. I don't know what this guy was drinking.

Me at the bar at Margaritaville.

This is my wife with our first Jamaican friend. CC was our official "driver" in Jamaica. He was the one that drove on the left side of the road because the left side was the right side. "Respect Man".

This guy kept telling me I was his "brother from another mother" so I let him be pictured with me. It was a kindness really.

Here is a lovely picture of my wife and I together on the catamaran. We were on our way for some snorkeling fun.

That's me. Snorkeling. Really. Off the coast of Montego Bay.

Here is me getting my hair braided. This was after snorkeling, but back at Margaritaville. We didn't realize that our Snorkeling tour took us back to Margaritaville so we went there twice. Once as taxi cab passengers and again as snorkelers on a catamaran. Strange but true.

This is me back on the catamaran after having my hair braided. I was so desperate for alcohol I had to use both hands!

A good picture of Margaritaville from the water. I didn't get to do the big water slide. Ah well. Perhaps this gives me motivation to go back.

A pretty picture of our boat from the Jamaican docks.

And last, but not least: the towel animals. Every night the stewards made towel animals. This one was my favorite. He was hanging from the light fixtures at the end of our Jamaican day.


  1. The woman you say was your wife in Jamaica does not even remotely resemble the person I met who you called Madlen and later claimed to marry. Did you pay some local Jamaican girl to pose as your wife? That is just about the saddest thing I have heard today.

  2. Don't knock it. I had to look long and hard to find a blond, fair skinned Jamaican who would agree to be pictured with me.

  3. Well. Good job Garman. She sort of remotely looks like your former German. Well both have blonde hair and blue eyes. The real Madlen was much cuter than the Jamaican you hired. I had to say that in case she follows your blog. Which I'm sure all your ex-wives do.

  4. Darlin'...the next time you need a fair skinned blonde sub...just contact me, kay? ;)

  5. It is obvious those pictures of your wife were taken on an earlier cruise.

  6. Dear Anon,
    Come to think of it...those pics look familiar! And I do seem to remember something about hair braiding and drinking, er...but not necessarily in that order ;)