Thursday, February 23, 2012

Behind The Wheel of the Gar Car

I had an epiphany the other day while I was driving to work.  And, because my blogging ideas have become muddled and unsatisfying, I've decided to share with you, the unforgiving public, my discovery.

But, before I start, I need to remind the unenlightened public that Rick Santorum might be the root of all evil.  Having him for President would be like inviting one of those television evangelists into my home for dinner.  It won't be pretty.  At this point, I don't care who you vote for; just don't vote for him.

And now, back to my regularly scheduled blogging.

I don't like people coming up behind me.  It's part of my neurosis.  When I go to a restaurant and am offered a seat, I try to pick the seat that gives me a view of the front door and preferably one in the corner where no one can sit or walk behind me.

While driving to work the other day, I was horrified to discover that this impacts my driving.  I remember taking driver's education back when I was 16 and being told that the most important rule of driving is to always be looking in the direction you are moving.  You try and follow that rule when you are terrified of people coming up behind you.  Now, put those terrifying people behind the wheel of tons of death dealing metal.  Coming up behind me... coming faster... talking on their phones... putting on their make up.  It's frightening I tell you.

I have been practicing keeping my eyes looking ahead while driving forward.  I'm at my worst when making right turns.  I have to wipe the sweat dripping from my forehead into my eyes to make a right turn without looking to the left to make sure no one is going to shoot out from the side and hit me.

I don't think you understand.  I mean everyone has to look, but ordinary people can look, then go.  I look, then go, then try to look while I'm going (it's a complete violation of rule #1).  I'm scared to admit how many tires I've ruined running over the curb trying to turn right while looking to the left.

The last wreck I had there was a girl in the car behind me talking on the phone and applying mascara.  I thought for sure she was going to ram me.  When the light turned green, I took off and rear ended the car in front of me.  It was embarrassing.

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