Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The biggest state of America

Today I wanted to take some time to try and fix our “immigration problem”.

At what point did it become a problem? Is it a problem?

If we are to believe what the government and the media tells us then we have lots of illegal immigrants from Mexico working in the USA. I suppose they might be taking jobs for lesser salaries thus causing unemployment. I suppose you could also argue that it would be easy for terrorists to slip in through this “back door”.

Why are we focused more on Mexico than on Canada? Are people more likely to cross illegally from Mexico than from Canada? Are Canadians too lazy to cross the border illegally?

Well, my solution is to make all of the Mexicans, that are here, legal citizens of the USA. And how are we going to do this? We let the Mexican government know that we have a problem. Apparently a large portion of citizens in Mexico want to be citizens of USA. If they don’t believe it we have lots of data to back it up. So, either the Mexican government fixes this or we annex Mexico as the 51st state of the union.

Once Mexico is annexed, all Mexicans immediately become citizens of the USA. And wah lah, it’s all fixed. Building a fence across the border to Guatemala will be a helluva lot cheaper than building a fence across the border to Mexico. I guess while we are annexing we could annex all the way down to Panama, then the fence is already in place because of the Panama Canal.

Canada, at that point, will be the only country in North America to not be a part of the USA. They’ll have no choice but to join the collective.


  1. "Wah Lah" is spelled "viola".

    Your immigration solution is very clever. Sort of Hitleresque in its meglomaniacal grandiousity. I fear that German you married is filling your head with delusions of Auschluss (that's Hitler-speak for taking over your neighbor's countries. The idea that the government allowed you to marry an ex-communist German who is now filling your head with Germanic ideas is appalling to me. I'm emailing our senator to see if she can do anything about getting your marriage annulled and the German deported before she causes any more damage to your impressionable psyche.

  2. It seems like I used to know someone named Viola. I don't remember pronouncing her name Wah Lah. It was more like Veye o la.
    Perhaps you are meant voila, but then you have to put an accent on the a. It's too much trouble and if you read you know I am lazy.
    Don't think of it as taking over someone else's country. Think of it as accepting a neighbor into your job plentiful home.

  3. Viola, Voila, all I know for sure is it wasn't wah lah. But it'd make more sense if it was. Once you are supreme dictator you might wanna take on fixing these type spelling difficulties among your other marvelous plans.