Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Weekly Update (8 of n)

Last Saturday an earthquake struck the Irving area (near Dallas). There have been many theories (including conspiracy theories) about what caused the earthquake.

After Monday Night's football game, I am fairly certain that my theory was correct.

That's right, the earthquake was caused by Texas Stadium turning over in its grave. The Cowboys have lost home-field advantage because of that monolithic monstrosity we lovingly call Jerry's World.

If you watched the game last night, you may have noticed that Jerry's World seemed louder than usual. That's because the Chicago Bears were in town and their fans apparently have vocal chords. The only times Jerry's World is louder is when the Pittsburgh Steelers are in town. That'll be happening on December 16th.

Jason Witten caught all his passes! My mom always said, "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all."

I had no intention of making this post all about football. Well, I did start off talking about earthquakes.

Because my blog has been deemed sexually explicit, I guess it's okay if I mention the new liquor coming out of G-Spirits in Germany.

They apparently have a new line of products where every drop is poured over a female model's naked body before being bottled and sent to you. Their website contains nudity so don't go there if you work for Google Adsense or are easily offended. Yes, I know that was redundant.

Expect to pay around $180 per bottle for this special privilege. If you didn't like reading about it on my blog, here's a link to a news site supposedly written by professionals and not hampered by Google Adsense.

I'm kind of wondering why they didn't also have male models. It seems discriminating against gay men and straight women everywhere.

Here's a sample description (pictures removed) from G-Spirit's Website. It made me thirsty:
G.Rum No.1
The G.Rum No.1 is an assemblage out of various very old sorts of tropical rum. It owes its incomparable, perfectly balanced, soft, but still heady finish to its double-aging. After storing it in ex-bourbon cask for 10 years and 1 year in barrels of French oak, it was poured over Amina's breasts, which lends it an unique erotic character. Flavours of ripe banana, vanilla, sugarcane and roasted coconut carry your senses into a Caribbean world and create vacation dreams, which continue because of its long-lasting and intense aftertaste.
We guarantee that every single drop was poured over the breasts of Amina. This is confirmed by the bottling certificate, including the original signature of the model and the bottle number.
Our product will be delivered in a stylish packaging.
An exclusive photo is enclosed to every bottle.
G.Rum No.1 is limited to 5000 bottles. 
Data G.Rum No.1:  Vol. 0,5l
                              alc. 40%
G-Spirits only sells to fullaged customer. By transaction you confirm your age of mayority, furthermore the recipient has to verify his age on delivery.
Price: 129,00 €

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