I'm a loner, but I'm not good at being single. My spontaneity is to blame.
For the most part, I like being alone. I don't like having to reach a consensus when I decide to go to the movie theater. I don't like having a debate before watching something on Netflix. I don't like being interrupted when I'm playing on the computer.
However, when I decide I want to go for a walk, I want someone there who is willing to walk with me. Sometimes I want to debate. When I want to go out and eat I like it when someone says, "Hey, have you ever tried Vietnamese food? I know this great one down the street." Occasionally, a person is required to spark new ideas. I'm good, but I can't keep coming up with new ideas all on my own.
How does one accomplish this? If I could meet a new person every week who was full of new ideas that would be wonderful. But, new people aren't interested in sharing ideas. It takes time and a relationship before you learn to work together to come up with cool stuff.
Sometimes my crazy ideas require a partner in crime. My isolationism poses a problem for finding partners in crime. I want to go on a cruise for my vacation this year. I'd kind of like to go to Alaska or the Mediterranean, but I'd settle for a 7 day cruise to the Eastern Caribbean. I've already put a $100 deposit on a Carnival Cruise.
What are the odds of meeting someone at a bar or at the grocery store and saying, "Hey! How about a 7 day cruise to the Caribbean with me? I won't pay your way, but we can share a cabin and if we really hit it off we can do some excursions together!"
People that know me know that I'm relatively safe and my intentions are good. But, for the general public, how long do you have to know someone before you'll go for something that crazy and spontaneous? If you are reading this and thinking, "I'd do that", then I should also qualify it by saying I'm not paying the way. I'd like a partner in crime, but I'm not desperate. If I have to pay for 2 tickets, I'll go alone.
I joined a dating website hoping to meet new people. I had done it before about 9 years ago and still keep in touch with some of the people I met back then. I firmly believe that online dating has become worse rather than better in the past 9 years. That's going to be a post all on its own.