Monday, May 5, 2008

Sarcastic Opinion

I normally don't do this kind of thing. I seem to be a magnet for people that make me uncomfortable. I had one such encounter today.
I sent an email for advice and they recommend I put it in my blog. I'm thinking nobody reads my blog so it won't matter and if someone does, maybe I'll get some advice.

All badmouthing of real individuals is purely accidental and I feel guilty about it already. Some of the history and descriptions are abbreviated and not entirely accurate for story purposes. Here's the text of the email:

I need your sarcastic opinion on a personal dilemma.
I don't like religion. I think you know that.
Two years ago, my heater went out. It didn't go out because of the heater, but because there is aluminum wiring coming from my heating unit to my fuse box and I think the fuse box was the original one that came with the house back in 1978.

So, I called an Electric Company and they came out and told me I needed a complete new fuse box. The price: $3000.
So, I called around and I found this independent electrician from Arlington that got some good reviews. He said he was a master electrician. I think they rank them based on years of experience and stuff. It sounded like some professional thing (the company guy was a Journeyman).
Anyway, he came out in this junky looking van and he looked at it and charged me $70 and tightened up a screw and voila, it was fixed.
That worked for about 1 year and then it went out again.
So, I called this guy back and he came out in his junky little van and said that I probably needed a new fuse box. He said he'd do it for $300, but I'd have to buy the fuse box and the material (about $500 at Lowe's). I asked him if he'd come with me to make sure I got all the right things and he said sure.

So, then while we are out he starts talking about "The End of Days" and that the recent events are sure signs that the end of days are coming and have I given myself to Christ so that I'll be one of the "lucky few". He went on for maybe an hour. I figure he's saving me $2000+, so I can put up with it. I tried not to dialog too logically with him. Anyway, he did the work and it's been working very good ever since. No problems. I thought he might do a quick ugly job because as far as he was concerned the world was coming to an end anyway.
So, a few months ago I got a flyer on my door for Property Services. They basically do all the crap around the house that you don't want to do. It says they'll mow, do gardening, landscaping, all phases of carpentry work including remodeling. It's just what I need as I try to sell or lease my house. So, I call. This guy starts off with a nice sales pitch about the yards in my area that he has done. I mention the fact that I also want some work done in my kitchen to remove wall paper and do some dry walling and stuff and oh boy.
Apparently, back before Hurricane Katrina, he had a successful carpentry business and that is what he does by trade. His wife decided to have an affair and so he thought they needed time apart, so after Katrina he took his crew down to Mississippi to work there for 3 months. When he got back, the locks on his house were changed and his wife was living with some other man and she was pregnant. So, now after a divorce, he's decided to start over. He's created a nice little lawn mowing empire, but what he really wants to do is carpentry.
Then, somehow he found out that I work on computers. So, he wants me to build him some computers to help with his "ministry" because by God, he's gotten where he is today by praising God. And if we all learn to praise God we'll be a lot happier. In fact, he's been researching Hebrew and the Hebrew word for Praise can also be translated to happy. And all the wars during biblical times were won by the side that praised God and thanked God for delivering them from their enemies. The man talked on the phone for an hour. So, do I let him in my house? Will I get good cheap work done for having to put up with a brainwashed idiot?

PS: Even if the story made you mad, you gotta love that picture. It makes me giggle every time I see it.


  1. I don't trust nutjobs who wear their religion on their sleeve. Religious fanatics of any stripe are scary. I'm afraid many of them use it as a sort of badge, as in you are supposed to accept they are good, honest people because they are God People. I wouldn't let someone with the lack of common sense regarding when it is proper to give their testimony to work on my house. They likely lack common sense in that area too.

  2. Well, he told me yesterday he'd drive by my house and give me an estimate. So far, I have not heard from him. I suspect divine intervention.

  3. He did not show up when he said he would because a lot of Christians lie. That's why they need to have a rule called a commandment that tells them Not to Lie. Something that good people don't do just because it's the right thing not to do. If you have a religion that has to have a Do Not Kill rule to guide its followers as to proper behavior that would seem a good indication that you are attracting some marginal personalities that would probably best serve society behind bars.

  4. I must admit that when I got home from work last night my yard had been mowed and edged and it looked quite nice. He mentioned something about a gentleman's agreement. I keep expecting him to call and let me know that I owe him $40, but he hasn't. I'm scared to call him.