Monday, November 3, 2008

Carnival Cruise: In The Gulf

I really couldn't decide how I wanted to progress with my Carnival Cruise experience.  It was a 5 day cruise so  I could have gone day by day.  There were interesting events happening on a daily basis.  But, I decided to categorize it in a more random fashion.  It makes me happy.

I'll tell you about the boat part.  You're on the boat in the Gulf of Mexico for 3 out of 5 days.  The other 2 days you
are at Mexican ports.  So, this part of the story involves being on the boat.

You see lots of people doing various things to keep from getting sick on the boat.  My wife was popping Dramamine to try and stay happy.  I must say that I loved the boat.  It rocked me to sleep at night and gave me the perfect excuse for stumbling down the walkway after having too much to drink.

I did Kamikaze Karaoke.  This is some strange event where these two big burly scrawny nerd looking guys come out into the crowd and harass people who have drunk too much to come up and sing a song (conveniently set up next door to the margarita booth).  Then when you get up there, they ask you what kind of music you like and play something completely popular, but completely opposite of the type of music you like.  They made me sing, "I Will Survive".  My wife told me later that they could not have picked a worse song for me to sing.  She's always very supportive.

You start drinking mixed drinks almost as soon as you get out of bed.  I swear you are eating scrambled eggs and toast and the waitresses are coming around asking if you would like the mixed drink of the day.  Alcohol is about the only consumable product that costs extra.  I swear they water it down because when you get up at 10 AM and have the Mexican Momma, followed by a few Stella Artois and then end up with a wholesome helping of Margarita Madness, you'd think there would be more sickness and drunkenness.  I saw no nudity the entire cruise.  With all the alcohol, I would have expected some amount of drunken flashing.

They also have comedians.  Actually, I believe only one at a time.  They must switch comedians at the ports.  The first comedian did a family show and then the next night an "adult only" show.  He was funny, but his family show was actually funnier than his adult show which didn't seem quite right.  Then, after Progresso, there was another comedian.  We only saw his adult show.  I don't know that he did a "family" show.  I liked his show better than the first one, but I was into the cruise by then.  It was the last night of the cruise.  I was laughing at all kinds of things to make up for missing out on the nude drunkenness that I felt sure we'd witness.

They have bingo.  I think they said that there were nearly 2000 people on board and over 400 children.  I didn't see too many children so their "Camp Carnival" must be real good.  Either that or they secretly spike their drinks with Benadryl.  I didn't participate in Bingo or Camp Carnival.

There were lots of nationalities on board.  The number 77 pops into mind.  I can hear the Italian Captain saying with his Italian accent that, "There are 77 nationalities on board this ship".  I know my favorite two waitresses were Russian.  We went to a piano bar every night and listened to a German play the piano and sing various piano type songs.  I don't remember enjoying him too much.  There was a tall woman from South Africa at the Information Booth.  My wife kept making me go talk to her.  I don't know why.

Our room was in the very back of the boat on the upper deck. If you look at the picture we were always looking out one of those windows on the left.

I spent a lot of time looking at this:

Anyway, the boat was my favorite part.  Next time I'm going to take 14 day cruise across the Atlantic.  My wife has already told me I have to go by myself.

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