The Green Mile

On Saturday, I'm getting married again.

When I was wee little child I never imagined getting married more than once. But, as I learned early on, "Shit Happens".

It's funny how things work. Now that I'm about to get married for the third time all kinds of interesting tidbits come about. My doctor recently asked me if this is, "three strikes and you're out". I told her, "no, third time is a charm". She went on to say something else about my second divorce seemed easier than my first divorce and I said, "practice makes perfect'.

It was after my first divorce that I went to counseling. The best thing I learned from my counselor was that it's all about perspective. I wish I had learned that when I was 20. "Change your way of thinking; change your life". You are not going to a movie by yourself, you are going to the movie you want to watch and not having to share your popcorn.

Now my life is an ongoing game of perspectives.

I have a friend I've known since I was about 11. We were both kind of nerds in a small town. We played Dungeons and Dragons together religiously. We put computers together back when the only things going were Apple II's, Commodore 64's and TRS 80's. He was the best man at my first two weddings and he's flying in from India to hold my hand during this wedding as well. Some things never change.

In case you've been reading my blog for longer than I've been writing it, I play this game with astrology. You can read about it here.

I'm an Aquarius. I was born February 14th. My future wife was born February 11th. When I was 5, 6 and 7, I used to hang out with a girl down the street. She was born February 8th (I think -- it was sometime in February - she canceled her Facebook account so I can't look it up). My first kiss was from a girl born on February 9th. After my first divorce, I became really good friends with a girl born February 10th. Which is saying a lot coming from a guy who has few friends. One of my few girlfriends (I think I had 3) in high school was born January 29th.

The best man at all my weddings? He was born January 23rd.

We're all Aquarians. We're all happy.

The other day I was reading my daily dose of useless news when I came across a headline about Shakira's abs. Shakira was born on February 2nd. The reason her abs were on the news was because she had a baby on January 22nd. Her boyfriend (the child's father) was born on February 2nd. I feel like Sharika and I have a common bond. We surround ourselves with happy Aquarians.

I doubt I shall be blogging again for a while. I'm packing, cleaning and entertaining guests, getting married on Saturday and going to Jamaica next week. I'll have better things to do.

Cherry Pies in the Sky

Fellow Aquarius musician (born February 1, 1964) Jani Lane passed away yesterday at the ripe old age of 47.  For those of you born after 1990, he was lead singer of late blooming hair band Warrant.  I never liked their "hit" albums much.  Probably partially because my wife at the time had a crush on Mr. Lane which forced me to be vehemently opposed to the sounds of their music.  And it wasn't hard with lyrics like, "She's My Cherry Pie, cool drink of water such a sweet surprise".

Jani has apparently always had a problem with alcohol. In 2008 he was replaced as lead singer of Warrant by Robert Mason.

Anyway, he's off to that Great Cherry Pie in the Sky.





Edit... I just read his autobiography.  It kind of made me sad.  "Thanks for listening and know that everyday above ground is a gift..."

Saint Patrick's Day Money Parade

I just wanted to take a little bit of time and wish everyone a happy Saint Patrick's Day and my mom a happy birthday.  Sometimes I feel a little disappointed that she was born on Saint Patrick's Day and I was born on Valentine's Day.  Saint Patrick's Day would be much cooler.  But, then I wouldn't be an Aquarius.  I'd be Pisces and no one wants that.

Anyway, when you are out drinking your beers today remember this: last year the federal government collected a little over 3.6 billion dollars from taxes on beer!  This year let's help balance the budget via alcohol!

Inconsequential Mutterings

If you look at my previous posting.  The one from last week immediately following this one in the blog roll I call Random Ramblings, you’ll see that I listed several topics in my chaotic little mind which I would like to write about.  I’m thinking this won’t cover any of those enticing possibilities.  I’ll let them lie there and fester for now.

A couple of weeks ago I went out with some friends who have moved to the other side of the Metromess.  I used to see them once or twice a week.  There were times when we’d spontaneously decide to attend harmless jazz concerts Tuesday after work and end up at some white trash bar in North Fort Worth doing karaoke until 3 AM.  Planning leads to expectations which leads to disappointment.  Indecisive spontaneity brings forth nothing but surprises.  I’d rather be surprised.  Therefore it’s my plan not to plan.

My friends who moved to Rowlett are predictably unpredictable and they are great because of it.  They came to visit a couple of weeks ago and we went and did Karaoke at Daddy Rabbit’s Market of Trepidatious Surprises.  Fun was had by all.  I coined the phrase, “confidence implies inferred consent”.  I coined it when I was watching this drunk bozo making his moves on women up and down the bar.  Think about it.  I’ll wait here.

Last Thursday I went to the Rockin’ Rodeo to see a concert.  Now, for me to set foot into a place called “Rockin Rodeo” is slightly less disconcerting than me walking into a Catholic Church for Sunday Mass.  Being that it’s in Denton there were lots of college women.  The eye candy was nice.  I went with Lisa and she helps out with that.  I think I’ve mentioned Lisa before.  You’ll have to look it up.  There’s a search box in the top left corner that searches through all my wonderfully chaotic cacophonic creativities.  You’ll never know who you might meet.

Last weekend I had a new friend drive in and visit from Vernon.  I say she’s a new friend, but I’ve known her now for a few months.  I guess when you get to be old and decrepit someone you’ve known for 2 years is a new friend.  If you don’t know where Vernon is, look it up.  You’ll have to use maps.google.com.   

Anyway, we went to The Holy Grail Pub in Plano to have dinner, have some drinks and wait for Lisa.  We had some good dialoging including my new debate topic that I learned from The Russ Martin Show.  Last week he said that the only thing Americans excel at is complaining.  Quit complaining and start solving.  Complaining is not a solution.  I think he was talking about the people complaining about the fence that they’re building between us and Mexico.  I solved that one already.  

The Holy Grail is a cool place.  I recommend getting there early and getting a seat at the bar.  There’s always at least one beer nerd behind the bar and if you pretend to know how to spell Hefeweizen, they’ll be sure and chat with you for, up until now, unknown lengths.  I had a Franconia Hefeweizen and then we split a bottle of Infinium which is what you’d get if you, for some reason, decided to mix a bottle of champagne with a hoppy pilsner (or something like that).  I’m not sure I liked it, but the bottle was really cool.  The bar maids are also a special brand of eye candy if that’s your kind of thing.

I think at one point I may have even mentioned how much I thought Durango might appreciate the ambiance.  There were more erudite Texans in my company than he could shake a stick at.  There may have been some Idaho blood in there somewhere.  I’m thinking for Durango’s next Blogworthy Epiphany of Madness he and I should tour all the breweries in a 100 mile radius and do live blogging onsite.  All those in favor?  Drunken Belligerent Brewery Blogging for the win!

Saturday night, we all went to The Granada Theater in Dallas in Lower Greenville.  Cool place and a nice area.  Parking was $8 directly behind the theater.  We saw Jason Eady.  His band wasn’t available so he did a solo acoustic set.  I was quite appreciative of his lyrics and his songwriting.  He said his birthday was coming up at midnight which would make him born on January 23.  My best friend was born on January 23.  It also makes him an Aquarius.  Yay Aquarians!  My friend from Vernon (we’ll call her Jen), Lisa and I are all Aquarians.  It was an Aquarian night, but I’m not allowed to talk about that without fear of reprimand from D’ango the Leo.

The headliner at the Granada was James McMurtry.  Jen had convinced me that I needed to see James.  He’s not an Aquarian, but he puts on a pretty good show I must admit.  He’s kind of Bob Dylan meets John Mellencamp?  His song called “Choctaw Bingo” reminds me of a Beatles song.  It’s not this one.  You’ll have to look it up.  I’ll give kudos to the victor.

My Cruise, Icemaker, and Sucking

Last Saturday I left at 6 AM to drive to Galveston where I would be boarding the Carnival Ecstasy for 5 fun filled days in the Gulf of Mexico.  I was a little leery about doing the whole “solo cruise”.  But, as it turns out, I am fairly capable of meeting people and having a grand old time.  The title will make sense shortly.  I think.  Oh yeah, and I’m going to do something a little different.  I’m going to try and remember and share exactly what I was thinking.  I’ll tell you what I saw and what I thought.  At least the rated PG version of what I thought.  It’s rare that anyone gets to visit the mind of Gar.  It’s even more rare that someone understands what’s there.  It’s not called Random for nothing.

Saturday: The Embarkation

When you cruise from Galveston, they open the ship at 12:30 and want everyone onboard by 14:30.  It’s about a little over 5 hours driving from Dallas.  I love vacations, but I hate going.  I have all kinds of disaster scenarios running through my little paranoid head.  What if I have a blowout?  What if there’s a wreck and the highway gets closed down.  What if I have a wreck?  What if my car breaks down?  What if two angry beavers emerge from the trees and start doing the nasty in the middle of the highway and I’m forced to stop and watch?

Anyway, I left at 6.  By 10:30 I realized I was going to be way early so I stopped for gas.  The McDonalds at the gas station hadn’t started serving lunch yet, so I left.  At 11:15 I stopped at a Wendy’s for lunch.  By this time I was already in Houston.  At 11:45 I stopped at a Walmart to pick up things I forgot (like sunscreen and sunglasses).  At 12:45 I was at the harbor.

Carnival doesn’t really consider people taking solo cruises too much.  We are a rare breed.  The instructions on my ticket said, “Drop your party and luggage off at the door, then park your car and ride the bus back to the facility.”  This wasn’t going to work.  A quick search online revealed a place with covered parking across the street from the dock.  It was $5 cheaper than the “Carnival Approved” parking (which is not covered and requires the curb side drop off and bus ride).

The guys at the parking lot were real nice.  They helped me back my car into the garage.  They laughed at me when I told them I forgot my new sunglasses and needed them to re-open the garage so I could get back into my car.  They took me in the little golf cart for easiest access to the boat.  I was already happy and I hadn’t even got onboard yet.  I was thinking I needed to tip the poor guy, but all I had was a $10 and a $20.  I did ask him if he could break a $10.  He told me not to worry about it, so I didn’t.

I got on the boat, put my luggage away and made like a bandit to the nearest de-stressing beverage.  It looked almost exactly like this:

The first day always involves a lot of “pre-shows”.  They kind of gear you up for what to expect.  The only thing I was disappointed in so far was the temperature.  I’m a West Texas boy.  I like it real hot and this was a shade cool for a Caribbean cruise.  Apparently the cold front that dropped down into Texas was spreading it’s love as far south as it could go.  More on that later.  I immediately fell in love with one of the comedians.  She had the awkward sarcastic humor that I am a big fan of so I made a note to catch her show the next day.

Saturday night they have the karaoke show in the “Starlight Lounge”.  I was obviously tired form being up since 5 AM so I was in no mood to participate, but I did watch.  Have you seen those Carnival commercials about how something strange happens when you get on a ship?  I’ll see if I can find one… I can’t.  Anyway, it goes something like, “When people get on the ship, they change.  They leave their troubles behind and set out to have fun.”  There were two ladies at the karaoke show who took this a little too far.  I heard rumor that they were kicked off the ship at the first port.  There was nudity and running up and down the halls.  It wasn’t pretty nudity.  I went to bed before I could see anything that might scar my eyes, but apparently they got sick and spent the night in the infirmary.  I also heard that several passengers (I assume in neighboring cabins) complained about the noise and if they were unlucky, the eye scarring.

Sunday: The First Day at Sea

Anytime you leave out of Galveston, your first day is spent in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico heading towards your first port of call.  This was no different.  I don’t remember much about Sunday.  It was mostly uneventful.  The comedy acts onboard the ship always have to have two shows.  The PG version and the R version (for the 18+ crowd).  They do a family rated show on Saturday to kind of get you prepared.  There were two comedians on the boat.  I decided at the pre-show that I liked Kim Harrison the best.

Kim Harrison

The above video is kind of the rated R version, but with the cussing bleeped out.  I liked her.  She was quite funny.

Monday: In Progreso

Monday I lost my mind.  I decided to take an excursion to see the Chichen Itza ruins.  I know you are thinking that this doesn’t sound too bad.  It’s about a 2 and a half hour bus ride from the ship to the ruins.  If you took the time to click on the link, you’ll know that it’s a large pre-Columbian archeological site.  It would probably take you 2 full days to explore the whole area.  As it was we got to walk around it for 2 hours and sit on a bus for 5 hours.

I had to sit with Rob Thomas on the bus ride over there.  I was by myself, you see, and the bus was full so I got to sit next to a stranger.  His first name was Robert, middle name was Thomas, and he said he goes by Thomas.  Rob Thomas was just easy for me to remember and I make fun of everyone.  He was from San Angelo though and he knew where Kermit was so we are all happy.  He was chaperoning his niece’s cruise. 

What do I remember about Chichen Itza, besides Rob Thomas?  I remember the sinkhole.  At some point I learned to say sinkhole in Spanish and in Mayan.  It was a hole in the ground that was filled with stagnant water.  There is no debate about where the water comes from.  I think the guy said there was 90 feet of water in the well.  Apparently the Mayans believed that the gods created the well so they made sacrifices to the gods via the sinkhole.  Clean people up in the sauna, slit their throats and throw them in the well.  What did I take from all this?  The Mayans blamed their sinkhole on the gods.  In West Texas, we blame our sinkholes on the oil companies. 

Oh, one other thing in case you were wondering.  I also need to warn everyone to not buy souvenirs at the first place you stop.  There are better and cheaper ones later.  The whole Chichen Itza archeological site was one big souvenir shop.

The first time I was in Progreso, I sat out on the beach while the souvenir vendors would hand carry things to your table.  After you drink enough, even the souvenirs started looking better.  I kind of wish I had done that again this time around.  Except I would have missed the acoustics.  Mayan ruins with acoustics and a sinkhole. 

Back on the Ship

I went and talked to the “future cruise lady”.  Her name was Catherine Louise and she oddly kept up with my banter.  I’m not going to go so far as to say I’m a social butterfly, but when I go out, it’s rare that I meet someone who can “keep up”.  Catherine Louise could keep up and fire back.  It’s rare.  I’m not allowed to call her anything except Catherine Louise.  Well, or CLA.  I don’t think I was told what the A stood for.  Odd thing about CLA and all you astrology naysayers is I successfully guessed her as an Aquarius.  Her birthday is January 28th.  She’s from California.  One of the few crew members from USA.

Once back on the ship, I decided to go hit the Karaoke spot in China Town.  I met Natosha.  I try and talk to any women named Natosha.  It’s one of my favorite names.  Natosha was from Macedonia.  I didn’t even know where Macedonia was.  Natosha was hard to understand, but she was friendly.  She convinced me I should sing a song, but I didn’t know which one.

As I was sitting upon my stool contemplating which song to sing a large woman came and gave me a high five and plopped her grandiose butt down on the stool next to mine.  This inspired me to sign up for “Keep Your Hands to Yourself”, by the Georgia Satellites.  Obviously, the context of the lyrics was a little different, but you have to listen to inspiration when it strikes.

When I went to sign up for my song, some guy grabbed me.  I looked up and it was Rob Thomas with his two nieces!  They were excited to hear me sing.  The guy DJ’ing the karaoke was from Brazil and I can not ever remember his name for more than 5 minutes.  Let’s call him Ignacio.  He seemed awkward at times, but he was friendly and good at what he did.  I hung out with him on Tuesday.  When I put my name down for Karaoke I always put GAR.  Normally, people get this correct.  Ignacio said, “I’m not sure who this is.  It says, G. A. R.”  I got up and went on stage and told him it’s Gar.  The crowd went wild.

I have this strategy where I hang out and listen to what other people are singing and try to sing something more partyish.  On this particular night everyone seemed to be trying to show off with various Frank Sinatra type songs so my strategy was to pick up the party people with a little Southern Rock ‘n’ Roll.  I was successful.

Tuesday: In Cozumel

It was so windy in Cozumel that they had to cancel some of the “excursions”, like parasailing.  I had actually considered signing up for the parasailing thing.  I’m glad I didn’t.  It was so windy that they had trouble parking the ship.  I heard later that they had to have tug boats on standby in case they couldn’t get it docked.  Apparently the cold front that had gone through Texas had made it’s way to Cozumel.  All I know was at 7:30 in the morning, the whole ship was vibrating like a, well, like a 70,000 ton vibrator.

I don’t like Cozumel.  It’s a bit too touristy for me.  It’s much more fun to hang out with the locals when they aren’t trying to sell you some goofy sombrero they probably bought from some American company who had it manufactured in China.  However, the last time I went to Cozumel I found a neat little Mexican bar on the beach called Fat Tuesday.  A Sexy Mexican Tequila Police Woman comes over and sells you a shot of tequila which she administers followed by a mini massage and a kiss on the cheek.  It’s well worth whatever it is she charges.  This time I was going to offer money in exchange for a better kiss!

To my great disappointment, I learned this time around that there are two docks.  This time we docked at a pier that was closer to downtown and much further away from Fat Tuesday.  In fact, it was so far away, that I couldn’t get there to see if my Sexy Mexican Tequila Police Woman was still there or not.  I had to settle for Margaritaville.

While sitting (alone) at the Margaritaville bar, this flamboyant gay guy came and said (with a thick accent), “Hey Gar!  How are you doing?  See, I remember your name now.”  It took me a minute because out of his ship uniform he looked completely different, but it was Ignacio from the ship.  And he was sitting with Kim Harrison (the comedian).  When they saw that I was drinking alone (good George Thorogood song by the way), they invited me to come sit at their table where they were enjoying 32 ounce mojitos.

Kim is hilarious in person.  She’s very sarcastic, like me, and we spent lots of time cracking jokes together.  I told her that my happiest moment as a parent was the first time one of my kids was sarcastic.  It was like I had successfully continued the sarcastic trait into the next generation and where would this world be without sarcasm.  Then I asked Kim my riddle, which is, “Can you be sarcastic without lying?”  She quickly said yes so I asked for an example.  She said, “Well, I’ve only got one daughter, but when she misbehaves, I can still sarcastically say, ‘Ahh honey, you are the best daughter ever.’  Sarcasm without lying.”  I think there is still some fudge factor there, but it was funny.

Back on the Ship

Kim asked if I would do karaoke again and if I’d be willing to sing a duet with her.  I agreed, but it didn’t pan out.  I arrived much earlier than she did and by the time she showed up, I had just finished “You Shook Me All Night Long”, which went over very well, but it also does some strange kind of twisted scarring to my vocal chords.  So, when Kim wanted to sing some Evanescence, I had to gracefully decline.  She found two  healthy young studs who tried to mumble the lyrics.

Early that evening I went out by the pool and met Alexandria.  I don’t remember where she was from, but she was funny.  She did the spray on tattoos by the pool.  I asked her if she had anything erotic that I could show off to my colleagues at work.  The best she could do was a Marilyn Monroe where her dress is flying up.  That wasn’t good enough.  Next thing I know Alex is accusing me of wanting a pornographic tattoo.  Alex laughed at everything.  She, was, by far, the happiest person I met on the cruise (and perhaps met in a long time).  I’m amazed that people can be that happy without chemical help.  She denied having any chemical help.  Maybe there was something in the temporary tattoo spray.  Alex did let slip that they were having a “crew only party” at 11 PM.  This, of course, kept me occupied for the rest of the evening.  The trying to get into the “secret party”.

I asked Alex if I could go, she laughed at me and said it was crew only.  So I started asking all the crew members who walked by if I could buy their name tag for $1.50.  No one took me up on it.  I went back to CLA’s “future cruise” desk and asked her if she would invite me.  She also told me it was crew only.  I started asking for uniforms and increasing the dollar amount for name tags. 

Natosha was my bartender at the karaoke lounge and I asked her as well, but was again denied.  You have to give me an E for effort though. 

Wednesday: The Last Day

The last day of the cruise is always kind of blah.  It’s depressing because you are just starting to get to know some of the crew.  You know you have to pack your bags.  And, you know you can’t drink as much because you must be able to drive for 6 hours the next day after you get off the ship.

At first I was thinking I was going to go take pictures of all the crew members I hung out with.  But, for some reason, I changed my mind.  I wasn’t in a picture taking mood.

At 9:30 I did a “Behind the Fun” tour where I got to go down to the galley, the engine room, the laundry room, the crew area, and finally the bridge.  That was very enjoyable.  I’ve got a picture with the Captain.  I look really dorky though so I’m not going to scan it.  I feel sorry for the other people in the group.  I really messed up the group photo.  I look like I’m slightly insane.  The tour lasted for almost 3 hours.  I was supposed to go see CLA to the “future cruise” show at 12, but I missed it.

I went to the dining room for lunch.  When I’m waiting to be seated the hostess always asks me if I’m alone.  They should come up with a better way to phrase that.  On Wednesday, they seated me with another couple who were from Euless.  Then, a couple came and sat with us who were from Fort Worth.  And, finally an older lady came who was from the Houston area. 

All of us had about the same experience with cruising (about 3).  Except for the older lady.  She had been on so many cruises she had lost count.  She was a “platinum” card holder on Carnival (which means 10+ Carnival cruises).  I’m going to go off on a tangent.

I’ve been divorced twice.  When I was younger if anyone had ever asked me how many times I intended to be married, I would have said once and only once.  I’m overly nice.  I’m not at all mean.  I can’t imagine, any reason, why I wouldn’t want to spend my entire life with one woman.  Both of the women I married, left me for no other reason than, the grass appears greener.

The lady that was the platinum card holder said she was cruising by herself.  She said she and her husband had been on so many cruises together that she was addicted to the experience.  Then, her eyes started watering and she started staring at the ceiling trying not to cry because her husband had died 2 years ago and she had a hard time finding anyone to cruise with.  They had been married forever and had gone on 100’s of cruises together and now she’s cruising alone.  This was my first cruise alone and at times I was feeling sorry for myself.  When she was telling her story, my eyes started watering too and I had to occupy myself with other thoughts.  My youngest daughter is fond of telling me, “It could always suck more”.  When I listened to this older lady trying not to tear up as she recounted all the cruises her and her late husband had taken, I thought of that quote.  It kept me from turning into an blubbering idiot.

After lunch I went out by the pool and asked Alex if she had been able to locate any more tattoos.  She informed me that she had been too busy at the crew party to do any research.  Then, I went to the pool bar and talked to Natosha for about an hour.  She explained where Macedonia is and why it’s not part of the European Union.

Later that afternoon I went back and bought my next cruise from CLA.  I’m taking my children to Cozumel on July 28th.  It’s the most expensive cruise I’ve ever purchased.  Apparently summer months are high traffic months, but I promised my eldest I’d take them on a cruise before she graduated so this summer is hopefully my last chance.

Dinner

I had assigned seating for dinner at 8:15 PM.  That’s a little late for dinner, but the formal dinners are probably about my favorite part of the cruise.  The food is always good.  The waiters are always nice.  They always put on a pretty good show.  Normally, you become “acquainted” with the other people at your table so it’s  a good chance to meet some people.

I sat alone at a 4-top.  The waiter said that 2 other people had been assigned to the table I was at, but apparently they didn’t like the dinners as much as I did because I never saw them.

However, in my area, there were large round tables with entertaining folks.  On the table to my left was a family reunion of some kind.  The grandmother would always look my way and smile when the grandkids or children were acting up.  She was funny.  On Wednesday, the youngest kid (he was probably 7) was eating butter packets while his dad video taped.

The tables to my right were odd.  The two groups were obviously together, but I guess there were so many of them that they had to have two different tables.  There were 12 women and 1 man.  The 12 women ranged in age probably from 22 to 65.  They weren’t family.  Too many ethnicities for that.  But, they always appeared together and they always ate.  4 at one table, 8 at the other.

The big table was apparently the immature table.  There were tears of merriment more often than not.  Mainly because of a heavyset dark haired girl who decided to fake an English accent for the duration of the cruise.  On Wednesday, she came and asked me, in her cheesy fake accent, if I was alone.  Then, she asked where I was from.  Then she asked my name.  I wasn’t nearly as inquiring, but I did find out they were from Corsicana and Fort Worth.  I forgot to ask what their story was.  I figure they were all from some sales force (like Amway) or something, but who knows.  It could have been some new religion.  It is Texas.

Thursday: Back Home

I hate US Customs.  I don’t understand the purpose and the efficiency is slightly better than eating chicken broth with a fork.  I compare the USA to a reverse roach motel.  They’ll let you leave, but it’s hard to get back in.  It’s at least an hour of standing in line so this guy can look at you, look at your passport, ask if you bought anything and then wave you through.  It’s a ludicrous and inefficient filtration process.  I can’t describe it any better than eating chicken broth with a fork.  I outdid myself.

When I got back home I started watching my DVD of Glee.  Don’t hate me because I like watching Glee.  That show cracks me up and the music is good too.  Anyway, while watching, I kept hearing someone knock at my door.  I’d get up and go check and no one would be there.  It’s took me a while to figure out that my icemaker was misbehaving.  If anyone knows how to fix an icemaker so that it doesn’t sound like someone's knocking at your door please share.  As it is, I just turned it off.  It won’t be too long before I’m going to need some ice.  Now that I know it’s not working, I’m craving it.

Sorry, my thoughts were a little scattered.

Rocky Horror, Randy, Amber & Hat Tricks…

Guess what I did this weekend?  I did things that were best photo documented and I didn’t take any pictures!  They say a picture is worth a thousand words so to give my weekend justice I’d have to write about 100,000 words.  Don’t panic.  It’s not going to happen.  In fact I’m going to give you the summary and depending on the lack of comments I’ll probably opt to leave you questionless folks in a state of hopeless query.

On Friday, Randy (R.K. Milholland) of Something Positive invited us all out to the Lakewood Theater to watch a shadowcast of Rocky Horror show presented by Amber Does Dallas and guest starring R.K. Milholland.  He did the inviting.  I love his quotes.  The one at the bottom of the “invitation” comic was one of my favorites.

The show wasn’t scheduled to start until midnight.  I went to Humperdinks for happy hour.   They have their own menu of craft brewed beers on tap.  It’s a good place for happy hour.  Our waitress’s name was Katy and she was a good sport at playing along with my sign guessing shenanigans.  She’s a Capricorn.  Her boyfriend’s an Aquarius so it was only natural that she was willing to tolerate my Aquarian mind games.

I’ve never participated in a Rocky Horror show.  We had one veteran slut who offered to go with us and show us virgins the ropes.  I invited a friend or two and had to ask her (the veteran slut) how to dress.  She recommended various costumes for the guys (the crazier the better) and apparently women must dress like sluts.  Fun was had by all and I have no pictures.  The Shadowcast by Amber Does Dallas was wonderful.  It’s definitely something I recommend and will probably do again sometime.  Lots and lots of open minded fun loving people with a range of ages and lifestyles sharing a common goal. 

I was glad Randy invited me and I did get to talk to him briefly after the show.  I wish he wasn’t so busy, because just from my brief talk with him I could tell that he and I would be very dangerous playing mind-f*ck games with people at a bar.  Of course, I guess we have to spread the wealth a little bit.  If you get too much of that kind of thing at one table or in one vicinity, dangerous reactions could occur which may cause dire personal injury or irreparable mental harm.  I exaggerate a little bit.  Some people who read my blog may actually have been there.

Saturday found me at Hat Tricks again.  I’ll give you time to go read that.  I’ll wait here until you get back.  You’ll take note of my obvious overuse of the word shenanigans.  Which is funny because I can’t even spell it correctly without the aid of a spell checker.

Vallejo was going to be there.  They were going to open up for Cas Haley.  You can watch the Vallejo video at the other shenanigans link.  I noticed AJ was drinking and I saw him have at least one shot.  I don’t know if that had any impact on his performance, but I’ve been watching these guys ever chance I get for the last 15 years or so and it was one of the best shows I’ve seen them do.  It was, at least, in the top 5.

Before Vallejo came on and before the show was officially scheduled to start, they had a band called The Dirty River Boys come on and put on a pre-show.  I was glad we arrived early!  They hail from El Paso, TX and if you haven’t seen them yet, you are kind of missing out.  I’m pretty picky on the types of music I enjoy well enough to write about, and these guys were surprisingly good!  A video hardly does them justice, but it gives you an idea.  They remind me of Bonepony (one of my all time faves).

Dirty River Boys

Vallejo put on such a good show that Cas Haley was a bit of a disappointment.  He sings really good.  I like reggae music.  But after a while, I think you need some kind of chemical enhancement to keep listening to it without falling asleep.  Two hours of reggae makes me sleepy.

The Dallas Cowboys won on Sunday.  I actually watched the football game in its entirety.  So many rare things I accomplished over the weekend.

When I separated from my spouse back in April I decided that the only way I was going to survive would be to surround myself with friends.  I’ve made many new friends since then and enhanced some friendships I already had.  Just so people don’t ask me if I’m still separated, the divorce was final in August.  I blogged about it somewhere.  Slight tangent.  I thought if I met enough people and kept myself busy I’d get over it.  The last few weeks I’ve realized I still miss her.  We did so much together that I find myself thinking, “Man, she would like this!”  But she’s not there.  Apparently, it’s going to take time for me to get over this and once you hit the age of 40, it seems that time is something you don’t like spending.  One of my friends told me I just need to relax and take it easy for 6 months.  He might have mentioned fasting and self-reflection.  Another of my friends said I need to get into a semi serious relationship so I can see what I want (or don’t want).  I’ve decided I don’t know what I’m doing, but it’s going to be a blast!  And I’ll apologize now for any collateral damage.  It’s not intentional.

Saturday at Marienplatz

I think I mentioned in my last random posting that I went to Oktoberfest the weekend of October 1st.  I am almost two weeks behind in my bloggings.  There’s just not enough time.  Just as a teaser we went and rocked downtown Frankfurt last Saturday.  At least I think we rocked it.  I vaguely remember walking out the front door of the house and meandering down a cement path towards a cab station where we were to be chauffeured to our alleged “rocking” facility.

But, Saturday at Marienplatz is a story that can not be left completely untold.  However, the details must be slightly obscured to protect the guilty.

I guess our story starts at Oktoberfest.  I was there, but it was very busy.  The magic thing about the Munich Oktoberfest is there is no place to sit unless you get into a party tent and the party tents are completely full before lunch.  On Saturday it was worse.   By lunchtime, I was tired of standing and I was getting hungry and I didn’t want to eat standing up so I left and went to Marienplatz.

Another interesting thing that should probably be mentioned is that I got asked directions twice.  Both times not in German and not in English.  I either looked really smart, really friendly or someone had secretly taped a tour guide sticker to my shirt (in 10 different languages).  I became very good at pointing.  Oktoberfest that way, Marienplatz that way.

I must admit I wandered Marienplatz for a bit.  They had some interesting stuff going on with some animal rights entertainment or something.  Pictures of big ugly chickens with breasts and women wearing fur coats in little chicken wire pens.  I’m not sure what it all meant, but the music was not bad and it was ever-so-slightly entertaining.  Let’s see if I can find some pictures.

Interesting tidbit about the above picture.  I think I hung out with the man in the blue shirt later that afternoon.  Now, I’ll have to compare pictures.  You can too.

I was looking for a place to sit down, have a beer and eat some lunch.  I finally found a place.  This place had 3 waitresses working the tables.  I wish I had pictures.  There was one cute and friendly waitress, one pretty and bitchy waitress, and one not so pretty and not so cute amiable waitress.

I managed to get the bitchy one.  I honestly asked the cute and friendly waitress for a table, but somehow I got shuffled.  It happens when you are sitting by yourself.  They don’t want you to eat up in valuable seating.  The cute and friendly waitress was the obvious choice for the larger parties.

I should also mentioned that they were both Asian.  The amiable one, not so much.

So, I sat.  I ordered a hefeweizen.  The bitchy waitress asked me if I wanted large or small milk.  So, I said, “A beer”.  And she brought me some kind of pilsner.

I drank the pilsner, ordered some spaghetti and made eye contact with the cute and friendly waitress and pointed to my empty beer glass.  She came and asked me if I wanted another one and I said, no, but I can have a hefeweizen.  The bitchy waitress finally brought me a hefeweizen.

While this was going on some excitement was beginning to happen on my left.  There were four English speaking people sitting at the table next to me.  I assumed they were married couples so I didn’t gaze too much at the lovely ladies for fear of getting in trouble, but I did do a sly bit of eavesdropping.  It’s almost impossible not to when surrounded by a bunch of people you can’t understand and then suddenly, you hear something strangely and alluringly intelligible.

Then Dick Van Dyke showed up.  He asked, in German, if he could sit at my table.  I said sure.  I can’t remember what dialect I applied.  It was probably some embarrassing form of Texan.  I don’t really remember his name although I’m sure we shook hands and perhaps shared names.  I call him Dick because he was a Chimney Sweep there in Munich.  He was a very friendly guy.  He spoke a little more English than I could speak German, but we shared a beer and finished our meal together.

Then the chatty woman at the table to my left gazed into my eyes and said something like, “So you can speak English?  Have you been sitting there enjoying our conversation?”  She said it smiling or I would have run.

Then Vince said some off the wall comment about the lack of good looking women over the age of 40.  I can’t remember the exact sentiment.  I was eavesdropping again and details are not important.  Then, the chattty woman.  We’ll call her Laura asks what I think of that.

I said, “He’s right.  Good looking single women over the age of 40 are hard to come by.”  Laura and her friend left.  We’ll call her friend Kim.  And I have that affect on people (the leaving part).  But, in all fairness I had had over a liter of beer.

Then John, Vince and I start talking and I discover they are vacationing from South Africa.  Of course, I have to know if they watched any of the World Cup games (which Vince admitted to). 

Rattled side bar.  Durango, my blog instructor, tells me I get rattled sometimes.  This is a rattled sidebar.  Actually I think 90% of this post has been rather rattled.  In case you haven’t read any of my clever postings before I kind of make it a hobby of mine to study astrology.  Now, Vince was reminding me an awful lot of an old buddy of mine back in Dallas.  It was eerie.  Turns out they are both Sagittarius.  Sagittarius is a fire sign.  Aquarius is an air sign and for some reason air feeds fire and huge billowing flames of insanity normally ensue.  Oh, I’m an Aquarius.  In case you, ahem, didn’t know that by now.

I can’t remember exactly how the subject came up.  It’s possible he asked me if I’d ever been to Munich before and if I knew any cool spots.  But, I think it was more creative than that.  Anyway, I stayed across the street from Marienplatz about 7 years ago for about 3 months so I did know some places.

I told him about the Mexican bar down the way that serves tequila and the Irish bar down in the cellar next to the Church.  He opted for the tequila.  The explosion was near monumental.

He called his German buddy, Jergen, he called Kim back, he called Laura back and we all headed to Sausalitos.

I remember ordering the first round.  They had Don Julio which is one of my faves that my other Sagittarius buddy introduced me to so we ordered that first and between the 5 of us finished off the bottle.  Then, well, I don’t remember. 

Rumors abound and my texting was embarrassing.  And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.  Here’s a picture…

See the guy in the blue shirt.  I think he’s the same as the previous picture.  I didn’t realize it until I started writing.  That’s Vince toasting.  Damn Sagittarius.

Alice in Wonderland

As you sit and contemplate the imminent release of Tim Burton’s adaptation of Alice in Wonderland on March 5 featuring a star studded cast including: Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter.

I only ask that you do one thing.

Just one simple thing that I haven’t talked about in months now.

I mean I was quietly hushed through intimidation and peer pressure, but this must come out.

It really must be released for public consumption.

I’ve tried to hold back as long as possible, but the urging in the back of my weak mind finally became too strong and I was forced to unleash the beast.

Lewis Carroll, born Charles Lutwidge Dodgson on January 27th, 1832 was a left handed Aquarius.

His writings are filled with wordplay and puzzles.  His pseudonym Lewis is an anglicized form of Ludovicus, which is Latin for Lutwidge.  Carroll is an anglicized version of Carolus, the Latin for Charles.

Enjoy the movie, brought to you, in no small part, by an eccentric left handed Aquarius.

Anti-Aquarians…Meet My Niece

I’ve been subtly pressured by two people to cease and desist with my weekly Aquarius posts.  One of these persons is a Leo.  The other is a Virgo.  I’m doing research now to see if there is some deep seated and unjustified animosity between these two signs and the loving Aquarius folks.  I’ll try and keep you posted without further frustration to the Leos and the Virgos.

My Aquarian star this week is my niece, Emily.  For all my life, I have been the only Aquarian in my list of relatives that I keep up with.  A few years ago my older sister produced a baby Aquarian girl and she’s nice and sweet and pretty and smart just like her Aquarian uncle.

Ed is An Aquarius!!

It may come as a shock to you, but one of the regular visitors to my humble blog is also an Aquarius.

He gets a posting all to himself because I’ve known him and called him a friend for almost 30 years. He’s even been my best man -- twice!

I started dabbling in Astrology about 8 years ago. I don’t take it too seriously, but it’s good for conversations and it’s quite entertaining. For it to be entertaining, I have to (at least pretend to) take it very seriously.

I started to look closer at Astrology when I realized the one man I had known and kept in contact with longer than any other was a fellow Aquarius. I reckon it is just a whacky coincidence, but it’s still pretty cool.

Ed was born on January 23rd.

I don’t have many friends. A lot of my old friends I hear from rarely.

In 30 years I think the longest I’ve gone without hearing anything from Ed is maybe 6 months. Maybe. I didn’t really keep track. He was always there.

Ed introduced me to the Internet. I enjoy hanging out with people that are smarter than me. I figure that way I’ll be able to learn something every time I talk to them and I am a big fan of learning. I’ve learned a lot from Ed and continue to do so. Just checkout some of his comments!

I met Ed when I was playing Dungeons & Dragons with his older brother. Ed is a year younger than me and lived just down the street when we were growing up.

When I needed a best man for my wedding(s) Ed bought a plane ticket and flew down (both times) without asking for anything in return. I don’t think I ever said how much I appreciated it. I’m not good at showing appreciation. Maybe since Ed is a fellow Aquarius, he understands that.

When I was going through my divorce, it was a very difficult patch of time in my life. Ed was always there to talk to. He might be the only person I know that looks at things more logically than I do. Of course, the women don’t appreciate it. Is there such a thing as love in logic? Or logic in love?

I could write all day from my memoirs of our teenage years together. We played AD&D, we setup Bulletin Board Services, we played chess, we wrote software, etc. You name it, we did it. It’s the only thing I remember enjoying about being a teenager in the desert.

Here’s to Ed. Thanks man!

Finish D Aquarius D’s

I should have wrapped up the D’s last week.  There are not enough left for a memorable type post like I am accustomed to posting.

I have another colleague at work.  His name is Duane.  I’m not sure the exact date of his birth, but I know he celebrates at the end of January which makes him an Aquarius as well.  There are at least 3 software guys where I work (on a team of 14), that are Aquarius.  We are taking over!

I must continue with my impromptu pretty Aquarius series.  I had to do some research to find her so I must admit that I didn’t know her name or that she was Aquarius before today.  But she fits the bill for a pretty Aquarius whose name starts with D.  Pretty stiff requirements.  Her name is Denise Richards and she was born on February 17, 1971.  I’ve added Starship Troopers to my Netflix Queue to show my undying adoration.

 

I’m An Aquarius, Who Are you?

I’ve decided I’m done with the C’s.  Sorry if I left someone out.

Progressing to the letter D’s, we have:

Dr. McCoy, played by DeForest Kelley, was born on January 20, 1920.  You have to be a Star Trek fan.

I’d feel remiss if I didn’t continue a bit on my enticing pretty Aquarius women category with Diane Lane, who was born on January 22, 1965.  She is probably most famous for her steamy scenes in the movie, Unfaithful.  Yum!

Douglas MacArthur was born on January 26, 1880.  He has a similar problem to mine.  In his history page it says, “In April 1951, MacArthur's habitual disregard of his superiors led to a crisis.”

Dick Cheney was born on January 30, 1941.  I’ve already blogged about him.  I’m not much on repetition.

Since we are on Vice Presidents, we might as well do one more and end with Vice Presidents this week.  Dick Cheney was called by some, “The most influential vice president in history”.  Another Aquarian Vice President from not too long ago was Dan Quayle.  He was born on February 4, 1947.  While Dick was famous for shooting his hunting partners.  Dan was famous for his memorable quotes like, “I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”

Aquarius Again?

I grow bored.  I’m going to abbreviate and categorize, but we are still in the C’s.  In case you are new or haven’t been paying attention I am tracking all my favorite folks that were born between January 20 and February 18.   We are the Aquarius.

Pretty:

Christie Brinkley was born on February 2, 1954.

Pretty Funny:

Chris Farley was born on February 15, 1964.  I missed him when I was accidentally doing my comedians in a post a few weeks ago.

Pretty Smart:

Clyde Tombaugh discovered a large rock at the edge of our solar system and used his Aquarius skills to convince everyone that it was a planet.  He was born on February 4, 1906.  The “planet” was Pluto.

Pretty Brave/Lucky:

Charles Lindbergh made the first solo flight across the Atlantic.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to take a solo flight to somewhere far far away.  He was born on February 4, 1902.

Pretty Bassic:

I used to be a Metallica fan.  After their bass player died in a tragic bus accident, their music afterwards was never quite the same.  I don’t know if it’s just me or not.  Maybe Cliff Burton never actually wrote any of the music but he was a helluva bass player and after he died, their music changed.

   Maybe he wrote all the music… He was born on February 10, 1962.

Metallica with Cliff –>

Where Have All The Aquarians Gone?

One of my colleagues, who is also Aquarius, also sports facial hair. A couple of weekends ago I had a deep unexplained urge to remove all facial hair. I was seconds away from turning on the razor when my wife talked me out of it. When I came to work on Monday, my colleague had removed his facial hair. I was glad that my wife had talked me out of it. How awkward would that be?

My first guest Aquarius today is Chris Duarte. His birthday is February 16, 1963. I saw him a couple of weeks ago at the Bedford Blue Festival with Buddy Guy. It would be remiss of me not to mention that he quotes Shakespeare when he's tuning his guitar on stage. It's just a strange Aquarian quirk I think.He is a Texas blues guitar slinger. Observe…

Charles Dickens was born on February 7, 1812. Because of my piss poor education (you have to read the comments) I don’t think I’ve ever read any of his books. Perhaps I should remedy that.

Charles Darwin was born the exact same day as Abraham Lincoln: February 12, 1809. He married a cousin. I had a crush on one of my cousins once.

Speaking of crushes, I recently discovered that probably my first sort of real girlfriend (I mean I was 12 years old or something) is/was an Aquarius. She was probably my first older woman too. She was born on February 9, exactly 5 days before me. Her name is Cristy so she fits in nicely in my alphabetical list. I would post a picture, but that would involve me asking her permission and I’m not up to it.

BC is For Aquarius

In typical Aquarian fashion I am twisting things up. Sometimes, I discover an Aquarian that I left out so the whole alphabet thing is hard to maintain. I will proceed in a somewhat randomly alphabetically ordered fashion. It’ll be fun.

I looked through my C’s and there are way too many for one week’s worth of justice. They’ll continue into next week. See if you can find the Aquarius traits in these famous people. I might help.

I left out Bill Maher last week. His political views are similar to mine and I like his sense of humor. If you read my past postings and you read the Wikipedia article on Bill, you’ll see some striking similarities. For example: “Maher is highly critical of organized religion, which he often describes as a neurological disorder that justifies crazies and stops people from thinking logically.” He was born on January 20, 1956.

On January 21, 1924, Benny Hill was born. His name is actually Alfred Hawthorne Hill. My dad forced me to watch the Benny Hill Show religiously when I was growing up. Funny, funny stuff. To this day every time I hear “Yakety Sax”, I think of Benny Hill and my dad. Odd…very odd.

Since I seem to be stuck on comedy I’ll wrap things up this week with Chris Rock. He was born on February 7, 1965. Most people I know can’t stand the guy. For some reason, I find him hilarious. I always have.

B is for Aquarius

I had a bit of trouble coming up with the killer B’s. It required some innovative cheating to look for help. Babe Ruth was an Aquarius but I hate baseball so he’s only given brief mention and there it was.

Brandon Lee who starred in The Crow was born on February 1, 1965. The Crow is one of my top 20 favorite movies. I’m not sure exactly where it ranks. I think I have to be in the mood for it. It has one of my favorite battle scenes with music from My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. He, of course, died during the filming of The Crow through some prop malfunction. I never watched any of the sequels.

One of the reasons I drive a Trans Am today is because of a movie called Smokey and the Bandit. I think I watched it when I was about 9 years old. Burt Reynolds starred as the Bandit. He was born on February 11, 1936.

I have rather eclectically offbeat appreciation for music. Reggae music is one of the genres that is often underappreciated. The man who first brought it to my ears was also an Aquarius. Bob Marley was born on February 6, 1945. His real name was Robert Nesta Marley. He was probably best known for his song, “I Shot the Sheriff”.

Last, but not least, is my colleague at work. I don’t know the exact date of Brett’s birth, but I know he celebrates a couple of weeks before me so that makes him an Aquarius. I interviewed and gave Brett my seal of approval a few years ago (we had an opening for a software graduate). When I interview new Software Engineers I look for the geeks. Too many people graduate and call themselves “programmers” because they read all the books and passed all the classes. They chose to get a computer degree because someone told them they’d make lots of money and there is plenty of work available, but these kind of people suck the life out of the industry. Brett’s a geek of the highest caliber.

Aquarians

Set your calendars folks.  Every week I’m going to bring to you my favorite Aquarians.  I’m thinking I’ll go in a kind of alphabetical order although some letters will have more than one and I’ll leave out some.  In order to protect the innocent, I’ll probably alphabetize by first name.

And remember, favorite doesn’t mean I like them the most.  It may simply be that they are entertaining.  I’ll probably have to give a few details with each entry.  There might be some very evil Aquarians.  I’ll have to do a bit of research along the way.

Oh yeah, it also doesn’t matter if they are living or dead.

I think it’ll be fun.  And we’ll all be sooo happy.  It all starts on Thursday!

The Texas Play and the USA

I know you are all reading with great anticipation this much awaited weekly update.

I promised earlier, pictures and tales of my trip to the Palo Duro Canyon for July 4th.

I drove for 6 hours with my two lovely children and their dog. I'm mostly allergic to animals, but I took my allergy medicine and I dealt with it. She actually traveled well. Her name is Jazzie and she's a Pomeranian. When we arrived in Canyon, we were greeted by Gracie. She's a Shih Tzu. She's a cool looking dog (Shih Tzu on the left, Pomeranian on the right). By the time I left Canyon, my eyes were starting to swell from the shock to my allergic system.

I am always amazed at how far you can see when I'm there. It's kind of nice to be able to see to the horizon. My dad is fond of telling the story about the people that moved to the Texas Panhandle from the big cities and had to go running back because of the agoraphobia.

I also mentioned before that we went and watched the Texas play at the Canyon. I think I've seen it for about 5 years running now. I'm not entirely sure you need to see it more than once, but it's worth a one time venture to be sure. The Palo Duro Canyon (where it is done) is the 2nd largest canyon in the USA.
The Texas musical is mostly a historical show about the Texas Panhandle. After watching it 5 years in a row, it's rather boring. This year they changed things up a bit and I liked the changes. I don't know if I liked them because it added something or because it was different. I do know that this is the first time I've ever gone that it was sold out. And we always go around the 4th of July so the date had nothing to do with it. I suspect by word mouth, lots of people had been notified of its improvement.

They have a contest every night giving a gift package to the person traveling the furthest to see the play. They said that in something like 44 years they have never had a winner from the USA. The winner this year was from Taiwan if I remember right. I wasn't paying real close attention because my 3 year old niece was sitting behind me giving some insightful and not to be missed entertaining commentary. She's an Aquarius.

One of the reasons we go see it around the 4th of July every year is because they do a tribute to America that is not to be missed. It normally brings a tear to my eye. And I write that in an uncharacteristically non-sarcastic manner.

The pictures are kind of blurry because we didn't have a tripod and it was dark, but my daughter did a pretty good job.

It starts out with a guy riding a horse through the canyon behind the stage carrying an American flag. It's all dark except for the spotlight on him. He brings it into center stage and all the performers come in behind him carrying the flags of all 50 states. Then everything quiets and the lights dim with a single spotlight on the horseback rider carrying the American flag. He sits in the middle still carrying the flag, takes off his hat, puts it over his heart and they sing America The Beautiful. Typically, the crowd stands and sings along. It's amazing.

No matter how much complaining people do about our government, this is still the greatest country in the world and as long as "we the people" continue to believe, it always will be.

But, then it gets you to thinking. If you travel, you know America is beautiful, but so is the rest of the world. Why can't the entire world be United just like the states of America? With today's technology the world has become smaller. I don't think it's too much to ask that we can become the United Countries of Planet Earth.

I'm Not Stupid, I'm an Aquarius

Some time ago I posted about the fact that I discovered that Dick Cheney was an Aquarius. It made me finally understand the man.

Today, I discovered that Sarah Palin is also an Aquarius. Her birthday was yesterday (2/11).

This leads me to the new T-Shirt I'm going to have made. It will say, "I'm not stupid, I'm an Aquarius". Let me know what size you need and I'll have one made for you. I need to get an idea of how many I need to order before I can price it. I might send one to Sarah and Dick for free. Maybe I'll get some publicity out of it.

Sorry, had to do some research. I'm thinking $15 a piece. What do you think of this design?

I Love All Aquarius

I have a funky history concerning astrology. For some reason, it's quite entertaining to me. I think it's one of my eccentric Aquarius quirks.

Anyway, today on the radio, they said that Dick Cheney had a birthday last Friday. I didn't know he was an Aquarius. Suddenly his stubborn insanity makes sense. I attributed it to being socially inept and perhaps a bit under qualified for his job. But now I know he was just an Aquarius.

We experiment. We play games (but only games that we understand and are willing participants). Sometimes I'll be at the airport and a couple will walk by having a heated discussion. I'll be sitting by myself and giggling because I've created a story (my game) about their discussion in my own little head and have made it quite entertaining.

Sometimes, I experiment with people. I'll say stuff that is random, but sentimental to see how they react. I'll say mean things to see how they react. Everything is doused with a bit of sarcasm because in my stubborn Aquarius mind, people that don't get sarcasm are not intelligent. You can't argue with me. I'm always right. I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.

Now I know that Dick shot that guy while hunting as an experiment. He was already being blasted by the media so he thought, "how low can I go?" I'll keep doing things and saying things just to see how much I can get the media to despise me. Is it possible that I am so powerful that no one will suspect me? It's all an experiment. Now that I understand Mr. Cheney, I love Mr. Cheney. He should have advertised earlier that he was an Aquarius.